Don't you just love it when......

Your working on a customers car in the shop, they quietly sneek into the shop and take refuge in your bay just to watch you work on their vehicle.. makes you feel like saying to them.. " Hey, when you go to McDonalds an order a burger, do you go back in the kitchen and watch them make it also?"


When a customer brings a vehicle in with an electrical problem regarding the cruise control, and ABS indicator lamp is "on" and the transmission makes a funny noise while driving, they will politely ask you if you can fix the problems in 30 minutes cause they have to be at work!..
I just respond back with " On a normal day I could fix it in 15 minutes, but it may take a little longer today cause my crystal ball is on the "fritz"


Don't you just love it when a customer parks and leaves their car in front of the one and only overhead door in your shop blocking all entry and exit ways.....


How about when the customer states their air conditioning is not blowing cold air... You jump in the car just to find out the car is not equipped with any air conditioning!


When a customer states that they have a certain problem (squeek,rattle) that ALWAYS happens while driving the car, you spend the next 30 minutes trying to duplicate the problem, but you cannot find it... you offer to go on a test ride with the customer just to hear those infamous last words from them "Thats funny, its not doing it now!"....yeah, what a riot, thanks lady..


When you get a customer states that the window sticker stated they would get 42 miles per gallon on the highway, but their car is only getting 37.5 mpg....


When a customer bring in their Hyundai Elantra in for repairs not realizing the big sign outside reads "Honda"


When customers can't open their rear doors from the inside, you explain the operation of "childproof locks" to them and they state they are familiar with that feature and insist that is definately "not the problem"...
You bring the car into the shop just to find out the doors wouldn't open the whole time because of the "childproof locks" being in the "on" position....


When the customer complains of a "vibration" in the front end while driving 90 - 110 mph on the highway, they will then ask you if you will go on the road test with them to confirm the problem.. uhm.. no thanks..

 

I enjoy.....

When a customer complains about a rattle and a rough idle in their 85 Accord.

When people complain about paying for 4.5 hours of labor when the job took 90 minutes.

I really love it when someone who just purchased a part from the parts dept. comes looking for a screwdriver to install it.

When you have to tell people to go back to Firestone to get their old parts so you can fix their car.

My favorite thing has to be when you are going to install a special order part- you take off the old part and then open the new part package- only to find that the new one is busted.
-OR-

When replacing 1st and 2nd gears in an S2000 transmission you reinstall the trans only to find out you have a bearing type noise, ordering bearings, tearing out the trans, replacing the bearings, reinstall the trans, finding the same noise again, remove the trans, finding out the gearset Honda sent you was too thick and caused an oil slinging disc to contact a gear making a bad bearing type noise. And then 8 months later, the same S2000 comes back for a noise on decel between 3 and 4k so you get to replace the clutch disc.
ALL under warranty.



[Modified by fixhondas, 2:50 AM 8/9/2001]

 

heh..you guys are describing people like me! Well, maybe not THAT bad because I at least understood your gripes...but I'd like to watch the mechanic just because I want to know how to do it all on my own...I would want to understand what he is doing...I'd even pay extra just to have it done in that manner..

Is there anything wrong with that?

 

Well, this is why I do all my work. Especially with the labor thing. Those labor charge manuals are total bullshit. If it charges 4.5 hrs for a 90 minute job, then there is definitely a problem there. Alot of people call it gouging. I call it suckers to the slaughter.

Maybe you guys are different, but 80% of the mechanics out there are dimwits.

 

These are priceless.

As an old stereo installer, we had tons of these.


CDRTFM - Customer didn't read the F'n manual

Loose nut behind the wheel.

Cust "My stereo only plays on one side".....................try the balance ****.
Cust "My CD player won't play"......................try putting a CD in it.
Cust "My alarm won't stop making noise".....................try turning it off BEFORE you get in the car.
Cust "I think my car had a fire".......................next time have a pro do it.

By far though, my best ones were.....

Guy with a 80 200sx comes in for an alarm, it's my job so I go to check it out. Total POS, and the car looks like a rats nest under the dash. I tell the manager that I want NO part of that install. He gives it to another installer, and 2 weeks later it burns to the ground.


Guy comes to my shop with a 67 Camaro. Deck & 4. No prob I say, until I opened the trunk. What did I find? The Exxon Valdez had dumped it's load in this guys car.
Later homie.


Go to an offsite install, putting in a LoJack on a 84 500SEL. Car looks nice, open the door and I'm overcome by the stench of BO and Cigars. Told the customer to have his car professionally cleaned and deodorized before I'd touch it.

I could go on, but you get the idea.



[Modified by B18C-EJ1, 10:10 PM 8/8/2001]

 

My mother has an '85 Accord. I guess the shitty idle is normal.

 

fixhondas -- nice avatar, too bad it's hard to read the fine print!

 

People don't understand flat rate. It should be changed to units of labor instead of hours. If I can do a tbelt in an hour and it pays four- maybe I have a certain amount of money involved in tools- say around $20-25,000 and growing every week. I have also gone to school and graduated with a fancy associate's degree, I have experience and skill, I do the job right and with a conscience. You are paying for the job and NOT the time. Maybe if we had the lube boy do that tbelt- it would take 8 hours and then you would be happy paying for four hours- right? Maybe I should start a campaign to change automotive service labor charges to units of labor instead of hours. Now I must agree some labor charges for trivial things such as light bulbs, etc. are a little much. Here's what really pisses me off- If I do a simple job, such as rotate your tires, and next week you hear a noise, automatically it is the mechanic's fault- no exceptions- and the customer wants whatever it is fixed immediately for free. "It wasn't making that noise before!"

-BUT-

When you go to the doctor for a cold and then a week later you have an ear infection- don't you have to pay again to see the doctor? Then that is the same flavor of bullshit.

It's good that you do your own work and I don't mind when people watch me if they are halfway intelligent and want to learn. I actually enjoy it when someone asks a good question as to what i'm doing. I can't stand when people bitch about the labor charge- fine- i'll just leave your car in the shop for four hours and make you wait.

 

f shops. do it yourself. dont cry when you break something, or when your car wont start and you dont know why. however, explain something to me. a co-worker droped her mail key inside her center console (2000 accord) where the e-brake handle is. she went to honda and they said it would cost her $75 to get the key out. it took me 2.5 minutes and a pair of scissors (no, i dont chop her shiet up). i think that is wrong for honda or any "mechanic" to do. how could you sleep at night? kinda like stealing right?

 

a buddy of mine who is a mechanic had a lady once with a POS VW Fox......needed
some major engine work done that would have cost 4k! she paid it! the repairs cost more than the car . . ..!

 

when i bought my hatchback last year they tried to charge me $80 to install my floormats...