shocked
Lol basically as you slide off those seats you are generating a lot of static electricity on your body from your clothes. The van is at a much lower potential (voltage) than your body, so when you get close enough your body discharges that energy at several thousand volts to the frame. I suggest you try to shock yourself before opening up you gas cap
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If they constantly fog up and there is a film on the window and a sweet smell you could have a leak in your heater core. Also a healthy AC system will defrost much, much faster than a car without AC.
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