First I need to announce that in the very near future I will begin offering seminars in Cloud Evaluation and Tire Selection. If you take my lesson seriously, and then do the opposite of what I'd do, you will be infallible and unbeatable.

The Seattle guys all came down despite the probability of crappy weather. But by the end of the day I think everybody was glad they came. The morning sessions alternated between almost dry and very wet, and then the afternoon dried up.

I did my first session on Hoosiers in the wet - which was interesting and instructional. No complaints - other than my Dirt Stockers were just sitting there in my pit. So I put them on for the next session - and put in maybe 2 decent laps before the track started drying enough that I called it quits. In disgust I told myself that I'd put the Hoosiers back on and take whatever came my way. For some reason I didn't get around to putting them on, and then it started raining in time for my next session - Nirvana.

It was so good to run the Dirt Stockers in the wet and play at the modestly reduced grip levels. Slicks are so unpredictable and treacherous, whereas the Dirt Stockers work competently enough that you can go to work on the rough edges of your driving that don't reveal themselves as clearly in the dry. And boy did I have some work to do. Wish I could have gotten a whole day's worth of it.

I did some instruction as planned. I wound up with one of our honorary VW associates - Shawn. He had a 1.8T Golf that went really good. He was naturally smooth and gentle on his inputs. That made it hard to force him into both the sequence of operation and the line. I was glad that both Brad and I were doing the same thing to him. He made decent progress, though it might not feel like it to him just yet.

It's so common for novice drivers to want to turn in early on a large radius at excessive speed, and then of course it all goes to hell, and you have to try to get across to them that the solution lies behind that point on the track, not at it.

And just for the record: "I touched his wheel". Spank me I've been Naughty!

....and then some time passed...

So I'm just minding my own business, and one of my TCO clubmates comes up and says there's a kid who just got here and would you mind instructing him? The kid is reported to "know it all" and he drives a Type-R. "We think you'd be the best choice to instruct him."

I look over and see a Yellow ITR that's been thru some FnF treatment, and hear the words come out of my mouth "Yeah, ok."

I walk over to the car after a few minutes and a couple of TCO guys are talking to the kids Dad while the kid is getting his psych profile checked by the Idiosyncratic event czar Dan.

...a brief time lapse occurs...

I'm standing by this stunnarific ITR talking to two of my TCO buds. Up drives a Thunderbird from the 80's with two big fuzzy dice hanging from the mirror. Out pops a guy who looks like a cross between Yosemite Sam and Andy Kauffman as his wrestling manager. He walks around the car and approaches us rapidly and confidently.

My first thought is that he's with the ITR kid. No.

He immediatly launched into what would turn out to be about a 20 minute monologue.

"I can't believe they turned Portland Speedway into a pile of dirt....there's a cesspool over there...I had to put on my respirator as I drove by....Mayor Katz is no good...."

Somewhere in here my two "friends" escaped, and took up position about 40 yards away smiling at me.

"....there's good dictators and bad dictators...we need a good one....I'm a good one...Bush was right to clean up Iraq....but I'm gonna put him in jail for a long time....the US and Mexico are already one country....Iraqi oil is going to ensure that your generation has a rich retirement"

I'm trying really hard to keep the smile I'm supressing from erupting. At some point I say "It sounds like you're running for something."

He says in a more hushed tone over the back of his hand "I'm already there."

....some more time passes....

He lets me go.

First I got to my friends and give them the FU. "What did we do?"

From about 40 yards away the guys hollers at me to get my attention. I turn and look and he yells: "Don't call me Mr. President...Call me Mister Blue."

I go hide.

I am not making this up.

Later when I'm safely in my car going around the track, I don't mind so much when Brad's VW loses a coolant hose near the entry to old T1 and I'm the next to come along. There's the racing line, the rain line, and then theres the offroad line.

I do this right in front of the ITR kid who's riding in one of the Seattle guys WRX. As I'm coming back on and he goes by, the driver gives me the wagging finger. Total smart *** - I was owned yeah...by the coolant!

Then I'm out with the ITR kid. I ask a couple questions. He does know it all. I sit thru the first lap till he spins the car in old T9. He asks me why it happened. I think to myself "Where do I start?" Since we've gotten the black flag for that I tell him to tell the inquisition that "I went in too hot". Demian reminds me later that that's what I told him to say under similar circumstances last year - big laughs.

So he gets his psych treatment and then we talk a bit. I tell him how to drive fast in about 1-2 minutes and we go back out. He actually makes some decent progress.

I take him out in my car right after and give him a full 10/10ths ride. I've gotten alot of opinions about how many tenths to give a student. Give them a fast ride and they usually try to kill you next time out. But with a stunna I think you've got to prove your credibility and show them who's the master. And on top of that I just don't see the point in wasting the laps.

He picked up pretty good. And he even caught his right foot on the way out the next time he started spinning and gathered it up. Sloppy and nasty - but he did get it back. I left him a much faster projectile. I think I'm getting over the guilt I used to feel for creating these monsters. It's not my fault. I can only show them the way.

I think the kid is educable and redeemable. It'll take time...and some resorative work on his Arrrrr.

I come away from every one of these things thinking that instruction should start in a Skid Car and/or around a Skid Pad.

I gave Kyle and Brad rides. Brad, since he owed me for the coolant leak, got the best ride of the bunch. I took him off the outside of the runoff of old T4 thru the gators. Turns out it bothered me more than it bothered him.

Later about 14 of us enjoyed the ritual trip to Mcmennamins temple of beer.

And somewhere out there Mr Blue was driving toward his, and our, destiny....

Scott, who was so happy to drive that stupid wonderful car again...


Modified by RR98ITR at 2:15 PM 10/13/2003

 

Mr. Blue leans in and says to Zach, as Zach sits helmeted and belted in his car getting ready to drive off to pre-grid, "This land is your land, this land is my land, it's not the governments land".....or something like that. Who was he?

I was disappointed at the morning rain since I was really hoping to compare myself to the last time I was at PIR. I wanted to play tag with James, which we were able to do, but I was left wanting more. James says I need to run GP, and if I do, I'll do very well. He has a little more speed through the corners than I do however. We were able to finally get after it that afternoon once the track dried, so everyone had the most fun during those sessions.

I was about 10 car-lengths behind Brad when his coolant hose went. I saw the smoke (steam) and my first thought was oil. I drove (slid) through the mess and watched Brad work hard to get control of the car. He took a pretty big off, but he and the car were both okay.

Another disappointment was not having Scott or Greg ride as my passenger… again. Two years in a row and Scott still hasn’t had good opportunity to ride with me. We’re both driving in the same group- and he’s busy talking to Mr. Blue, Mr. Stunna, and making Kyle car-sick, so it just didn’t happen. Oh well, we decided next time for sure.

You’d think by reading this I was disappointed… not true. It was a great day. I just felt something was missing. Not sure what though.

Anyway, the new truck pulled the car just fine, and I’m glad I took the front sway bar off the Civic. There was an accident on I-5 on the way home and I think we finally pulled in the driveway just before midnight or so.

I’m tired.



Modified by johng at 2:52 PM 10/13/2003

 

Scott, I am soooo sorry about the coolant, I had no idea I lost the hose, until I was a full 90 degrees sideways, I'm just glad I was able to keep the car halfway under control.

Your instruction to Shaun was great, he told me how much he appreciated it and how much he learned....just gotta get him to come out more.

And the ride you gave me at the end of the day was AWSOME. I can only wish I can someday have the car control you have, and the ***** you have. I didn't think it was possible to go that deep into the the braking zone for turn 1 and still be able to make the turn happen. I learned a lot on our ride, as you could probably tell from my shouting. (if you even heard it)

Thanks to Greg for the heat in the middle of the wind and rain, good to see you again, hopefully next time you can run with us

James, I had a great time playing follow the leader with you...we had a lot of close laps together, it's amazing what those light cars can do coming off the corners.

To all the Seattle guys for putting up with me all weekend
I think I say it for all of us that even though it was a slow and sketchy start to a day we had a lot of fun, and were relatively safe.

You'd be amazed at how much MR. ITR Stunna's "body kit" flops around heading down the front straight, as Shaun and I ROLLED by him.

Great weekend guys, and lets start planning this for maybe earlier in the year next year

 

I thought the guy was a cross between an Elvis impersonator and Richard Petty. When he stuck his head damn near in my car and did his best rendition of "This land is your land, this land is my land..." (Reminded me of the Johnny Cash cover of Soundgarden's 'Rusty Cage') I didn't know what to say, I was stunned. Then for some reason I thought I needed to say something that he would agree with but wouldn't keep that weirdo around so I uttered "Right on". It worked, he rolled out.

I'm kicking myself for not taking pictures of this wonderful specimen, as his is a rare (but unfortunately not a dying) breed. The descriptions just don't do him justice.

See more pics here:
https://honda-tech.com/zerothread?id=647260

 

Scotts *know it all*....

 

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by johng &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">....I just felt something was missing. Not sure what though.</TD></TR></TABLE>

I think I know what you mean.

I've wondered about it just being that the "new" has worn off.

Or, maybe it's like this: On a day when you have everything in order, and it's all going according to plan, there comes a point when your adrenalin has slowly built up and you're jazzed. If the day goes right you're on that high the whole time.

Or, On a day when everything is a struggle, you never get jazzed. And regardless of your results the whole thing is rather more subdued. The Rose Cups were like that for me this year - plus the "agony of defeat".

If not for my vast experience I might glibly suggest that if you had proper rain tires your day would have better met your hopes and expectations. But then again maybe you can build a better relationship with the probabilities than I have.

Scott, who feels something missing too....I'll find it next year, and so will you...

 

Hey Scott,
I think you should have hung out with the guy and talked with him at great length. You just might have let the one guy on the planet that can understand a word you're saying slip right through your fingers.

Wheeeeeee!!!

PS - When I'm president it will be a felony to glue all that silly **** on a perfectly wonderful Type R (or any other great car for that matter). At what temperature does film melt anyway? We may need to organize a good old fashioned Suthern' cleansin' of all the FnF film we can get our hands on.

Scott, who saw non-functioning hood pins that you glue to the hood of your car at Advance yesterday and almost urped up a tasty chicken ceasar salad.

 

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by Catch 22 &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">a tasty chicken ceasar salad. </TD></TR></TABLE>

That was with low-fat dressing and no cheese/croutons, of course?

 

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by Catch 22 &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">Hey Scott,
I think you should have hung out with the guy and talked with him at great length. You just might have let the one guy on the planet that can understand a word you're saying slip right through your fingers.

Wheeeeeee!!!

</TD></TR></TABLE>

You're lucky I haven't been drinking, or I might inundate you with words. Hah! That would serve you right.

Scott, who's seen alot of bad things...but I hadn't seen glue on hood pins yet....Erp!