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RR98ITR!....Confess!.....Confess!

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Old Jul 29, 2003 | 10:20 PM
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From: Snowwhitepillowformybigfathead
Default RR98ITR!....Confess!.....Confess!

The rather unpleasant exchanges late last week on Honda-Tech caused me to take several steps backwards in my recovery from the deep clinical depression I've been the victim of since my defeat at the Rose Cups by a $4,000 ITB Rabbit.

Normally I rely on Dr's Blair and Hamilton (Dr Jane Hamilton - perhaps you've heard of her?) to keep me running mainstreamed with their soft words of encouragement and powerful pharmaceuticals. But this time I knew I was in serious trouble and no half measures would do.

I drove all night to Neverland Ranch to my good friend Mike's. He listened intently, put his hand on my shoulder, and suggested that we cuddle up in the hyperbaric chamber.

Sobbing, I told him how mean the hillbillys had been to me, and how I just didn't want to go on anymore! Mike looked me in the eye, put his arms around me and hugged me strongly, and said "They just don't understand you Scott!"

I sat up suddenly, swatted Mikes hand away from my special purpose, and said "You're right Mike, I'm not going to let the bastards get me down!"

We continued talking as I dragged Mike across the floor, hanging onto my leg, toward the front door. I really didn't hear what he was saying - all I could think was how I had to get back to Honda-Tech!

I'm baaaackkk!

Not everybody Gets me and my writing. Upon reflection I guess its some measure of my success as a writer that some people were moved to react so strongly. If I could do it all over I would respond with humor instead of indignation. But I'm just a man.

As with previous conflicts, this one has been stimulating and valuable. When Adam (PhatS) started asking about the relationship between my writing and racing, and suggesting that my writing held a disproportionate role in my activities, I gave it some thought, and dealt with it in a response - or so I thought.

I have given some more thought to it, and have become somewhat self conscious - catching myself in the course of my activities thinking "this would make a good story." But in consulting with friends who write, I find that this simply comes with the territory. A writer writes - it really is as simple as that.

Yes, I fancy myself a bit of a writer. It's my dabbling in an enjoyable artform. Why post my writing? I thought I'd dealt with this too.

Like any performer I appreciate and value encouraging feedback. In fact, without it my writing on H-T would likely never have gone so far. To some degree then my writing is motivated by a desire to entertain my friends. I write for their enjoyment and my own. Sounds pretty innocent to me.

I'm pretty open with my writing. Some people couldn't comfortably share the kind of stories I do. That's ok, we're just different. I've commented before on how I think that the most interesting side of racing is the human side. I write about my racing in a way I haven't seen anyone else write. Somebody posted something on the board recently suggesting that we'd all more likely get faster if we discussed tech instead of psych. I disagree - I think whats in the racers head is of the utmost importance.

The technical aspects of chassis setup are by now an open book for anyone to read. The driver techniques are likewise elemental and require a driver merely to flesh out their experience thru exploration of the envelope. What motivates a driver, and how they can go inside their head and execute their groove - while integrating necessary conscious thought, now that is an infinitely open subject. And what is racecraft about if not the mind?

Speaking of the mind, my friends have told me that in their objective opinion my writing sometimes comes across as dark and depressed. My detractors go a bit farther and say that there's something wrong with me. Perhaps - but nothing that would pass for serious. I'm not whacked enough to get a job in advertising for example I am sure. There's no doubt that my taste in humor runs toward the dark, and I enjoy hyperbole. I've often wondered how many people get all or even most of my references, and I take special pleasure when something particularly obscure attracts the attention of my favorite members.

You know, the most ingnominious moment in the whole conflict was when some stunna popped on and said something like "THIS guy wants people to back HIM up?" Ugh, this is what the RR forum is becoming. Blech.

I won't be dumbing my writing down to the lowest common denominator. While I may be casting pearls before swine in some cases, there's no escape from the risks of this public square. If either my ridiculousness or my sensitivity is going to escape their comprehension - so be it. I know who and what I am, and so do my friends. That's as good as it needs to be. I'm not a dog, and I'm not going to play the Alpha game any more.

My latest writings about victory, defeat, and my ups and downs seemed to strike some nerves. More evidence that this is the heart of racing. Most disturbing to me is the dismissive attitudes taken by some members. It's "just" racing. I don't know if that's because were just little people, and passion is disproportionate then? I tend to think that there is no real difference between a serious club racer and a racing legend. The love of the art of driving is the very same. Only the venue and the stakes differ greatly, and do those justify and ennoble their commitment and sacrifice more than ours? If you would say so then you slander us.

For us mortals, I've recommended that that passion be subordinated to good planning. And while we're generally lighthearted about Addiction to the Go-Fast-Crack-Pipe around here - it's not to be discounted. Many have paid for taking financial risks with their racing. I've related a modest version of such a story that I'm going thru now. It's complicated, and I haven't told the whole story, but my season which just started is effectively over till next year. I'm not wealthy, and I spend the vast majority of my modest disposable income on my motorsports - just like most everybody else. I'm not happy about how things worked out this year. I made some mistakes, and spent some money that I could have saved. I gambled on future cash flow and it didn't work out. I'm not buried, I'm not backwards, I'm just broke and operating at breakeven in survival mode. I'll recover and return next year. I think such a story was worth telling on our board. It wasn't crying, and I'm not holier than thou. It's just a warning to the inexperienced, and a call to not be dumber than thou actually.

Hmmm, sounds like a lot of self absorbed writing. What great need for validation must this guy need? Bah, it's not like that. Not any more than it is for anybody else around here. Who among us doesn't want to fit in? Who among us finds their own answer to the question "why do I race?" unsatisfactory? Undoubtedly some will find their answer insufficient when balanced against some of the more essential requirements of this life. And they will fight to compromise and hang on to some part of their love affair with racing - or they will move on. While they play the game they will usually seek comradeship, and hopefully find it. We all know that it's one of the best things - and that's a good reason why conflict amongst the brethren is so serious: it can threaten a very important part of the game.

Last thing on the art of writing. I read an article in the WSJ recently the gist of which was that web piracy robs artists of the incentive to create. WTF kind of artists would those be? Mercenaries? If an artist isn't Driven to create - then boo-hoo-hoo. I may not be much of an artist - but it's the same game. I do what I do because I like it. I'm glad that others like it too. I'm sorry that not everybody likes it.

Scott, who asks: "Who's the real Mutant Ninja Turtle here?"





Modified by RR98ITR at 11:33 PM 7/29/2003
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Old Jul 29, 2003 | 10:52 PM
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Default Re: RR98ITR!....Confess!.....Confess! (RR98ITR)

For crying out loud Scott. I know I said I would not give you any more **** on the site. I will keep this amiable. But you are completely ******* nuts. Seriously. Knowing the moderators they will probably delete this post. But I am seriously not flaming you at all. I am not at all right in the head. Anyone that knows me well will validate this. But dude, take a step back. Coming from someone that is admittedly nuts. There are some things that one should keep to himself. I regret saying stuff on the site when I have had a few cold ones. I am actually quite glad some of my posts have been deleted. But damn man, get a good spiral bound notebook and unload in private writing. There is no need to post every feeling you have to a public forum. Private feelings should be just that... private. Again, I have said things on public forums I regret. And have issued many apologies to those I have insulted. But you are on a different plane brah. You really need to keep some of this stuff to yourself. Hell, no offense but if I got beat by an ITB car I would keep that under my hat. I have been beaten by a few ITA cars and that was hard to take. Seriously man, when you feel introspective indulge in some personal creative writing. When you feel that you have something to offer the community post to the board. As a fellow writer I understand your need to express yourself but you need to examine what is appropriate expression. Cool?

P.S. I know I am the last one that needs to be offering advice on appropriate posts. Sorry to George, and others I have unloaded on recently for no reason. No apologies for a certain WRX racing .... individual.
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Old Jul 29, 2003 | 10:53 PM
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Default Re: RR98ITR!....Confess!.....Confess! (RR98ITR)

scott, althought i don't know you(in person) or maybe even don't even like you because you are pretty mean sometimes, i think you are right about " I'm not going to let the bastards get me down!"

keep on the good work

PS. honestly, i quite enjoy your post because it makes me think.
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Old Jul 29, 2003 | 11:51 PM
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Default Re: RR98ITR!....Confess!.....Confess! (RR98ITR)

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by RR98ITR &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">I write for their enjoyment and my own. </TD></TR></TABLE>

I, for one, enjoy your writings

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by RR98ITR &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">I'm not buried, I'm not backwards, I'm just broke and operating at breakeven in survival mode. </TD></TR></TABLE>

Given the current Unemployment rate in this area (are we still #1 in the country?) breakeven is a pretty major acomplishment.
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Old Jul 30, 2003 | 03:45 AM
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Default Re: RR98ITR!....Confess!.....Confess! (chrisb)

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">But damn man, get a good spiral bound notebook and unload in private writing.</TD></TR></TABLE>
Thanks for speaking on behalf of everyone. Surely everyone must have the same opinion as you.

Call Scott's posts off-topic/inappropriate for the forum-- Maybe you can construct an arguement there. Some might say some of his writings ought to be in another forum. It seems really odd to me, however, that you seem to be insisting he not post this type of thoughts/experiences publicly at all..

Anyway, Scott laid out very clearly how to get him to stop posting this type of message-- stop paying attention to it! Is that the issue? I was not a psych major, and I don't claim to be much of a cognoscenti on H-T RR/AX culture.. is there some attention-getting contest going on? Some sort of rivalry in that area?

Sometimes I find Scott's posts entertaining, sometimes enlightening, and sometimes too much of the same theme.. I'm pretty sure he's self-possessed enough that I don't have to worry I'm observing someone completely unravelling, so if I don't care for a certain personal post of his.. ehh.. I stop reading it..
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Old Jul 30, 2003 | 04:11 AM
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Default Re: RR98ITR!....Confess!.....Confess! (MechE00)

here's a thought: could scott's "silly season" still be "in season"? i've said it before, and i'll say it again. get on the track!!!! simply put, if you are racing and/or working on the race car you won't have time to post your "feelings".

nate-who thinks that at some point we all post our "feelings", most of us can't do it as eloquently or long winded as scott though.

edit: shpellin


Modified by solo-x at 1:33 PM 7/30/2003
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Old Jul 30, 2003 | 04:14 AM
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Default Re: RR98ITR!....Confess!.....Confess!

If you don't like it (him)DON'T CLICK ON THE TOPIC and by all means don't reply to the post.

NOBODY IS FORCING YOU TO REPLY.
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Old Jul 30, 2003 | 04:26 AM
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Default Re: RR98ITR!....Confess!.....Confess! (Willard)

Timmy! Don't stare at that poor man! He can't help being like he is...

Kirk

Who is distantly related to hillbillies...
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Old Jul 30, 2003 | 05:30 AM
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From: Snowwhitepillowformybigfathead
Default Re: RR98ITR!....Confess!.....Confess! (solo-x)

Let's say I was really self-possessed. Self-pitying even. And I drank alot and played and sang the blues on my guitar. I'd be acceptably describable.

But, NO, nate has to use the word "Feelings". Feelings, nothing more than feelings. I really needed that in my head today. And I don't drink. Good thing.

The only thing I can think of that I write about too much is how fuggin much I like to / want to race. I still don't understand how much of my writing could be ruled as strictly off-topic. And I keep trying to make a case for that. &lt;Shrugg&gt;.

Scott, who can't step back, and doesn't share everything...not even close...
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Old Jul 30, 2003 | 05:33 AM
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Default Re: RR98ITR!....Confess!.....Confess! (RR98ITR)

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by RR98ITR &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">But, NO, nate has to use the word "Feelings". Feelings, nothing more than feelings. I really needed that in my head today. And I don't drink. Good thing.
</TD></TR></TABLE>

And thank YOU for putting that f-ing song in my head. Now I need to go find a drink.

Sebastien... who's wondering if anyone will notice the Baleys in my coffee at the office this morning.
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Old Jul 30, 2003 | 05:47 AM
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Default Re: RR98ITR!....Confess!.....Confess! (SJR)

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by SJR &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">Sebastien... who's wondering if anyone will notice the Baleys in my coffee at the office this morning.</TD></TR></TABLE>

Myers rum, kaluha or frangelico also work quite well. Fucked up by lunchtime and no one's the wiser
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Old Jul 30, 2003 | 05:53 AM
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Default Re: RR98ITR!....Confess!.....Confess! (chrisb)

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by chrisb &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">.... Hell, no offense but if I got beat by an ITB car I would keep that under my hat. I have been beaten by a few ITA cars and that was hard to take. </TD></TR></TABLE>

Chris,

The true story, as available in previous threads related to the Rose Cups, is this:

It's not a $4,000 ITB Rabbit. It's an RS/SPU Golf with enough money into it to make me choke.

Greg's VW Golf is about 300 lbs lighter than my car, has about 30 hp more than my car, has a $15,000 Schrick motor (240 hp, 2 litre, twin cam, 16 valve). The chassis is highly developed as well, and the driver is no slouch. The worst you can say about it is that it has more frontal area and a poorer cd. I do think that his car should go faster than it does in the corners, but he's got a pretty good ratio of weight to tire width, so I haven't figured out the why yet. The video show's he's getting most of what it's got out.

Race cars are just phyics in operation. It isn't just "Rabbit" vs "Type-R".

I'm significantly faster than the fastest local ITS guys - and they're the fastest on the coast.

I'm significantly faster than the World Challenge Acuras ran at Portland. And I have been running the same motor, internally stock, with minimal maintenance for 6 years.

I always try to soft pedal my successes (and write about a broader more general story), but your misunderstanding of my humorous reference to a false characterization of my abilities suggests that maybe I need to "promote myself" more.

I'm an excellent driver, and I hear enough about it at the track from others to make me uncomfortable sometimes. But I work hard at it, and I am proud of my ability.

I laugh at someone who has significant advantages over me in power and weight challenging me to a race and suggesting that they'd lap me. I have Porsche Cup Cars lap me almost every time I race - what exactly does that prove?

Scott, who thinks his posts are more than mere blogging...but hey, it's race blog....


Modified by RR98ITR at 7:07 AM 7/30/2003
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Old Jul 30, 2003 | 06:15 AM
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Default Re: RR98ITR!....Confess!.....Confess! (chrisb)

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by chrisb &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">...There are some things that one should keep to himself....</TD></TR></TABLE>

Chris,

This can only be a reference to a disturbing image you must have of me and my "friend" Mike.

Ahem, Neverland Ranch is pop singer Michael Jacksons place. I'm a little too old to actually get in.

Scott, who just knew something like this could happen....
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Old Jul 30, 2003 | 06:16 AM
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Default Re: RR98ITR!....Confess!.....Confess! (.RJ)

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by .RJ &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">

Myers rum, kaluha or frangelico also work quite well. Fucked up by lunchtime and no one's the wiser </TD></TR></TABLE>

Vanilla Vodka (Stoli Vannila works wonders) was made for coffee.
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Old Jul 30, 2003 | 06:20 AM
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Default Re: RR98ITR!....Confess!.....Confess! (Watkinsm3)

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by Watkinsm3 &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">Vanilla Vodka (Stoli Vannila works wonders) was made for coffee. </TD></TR></TABLE>

Stoli Vanil, Smirnof Twist, etc + one of the above liquors + coffee = fucked up well before lunchtime
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Old Jul 30, 2003 | 06:23 AM
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Default Re: RR98ITR!....Confess!.....Confess! (.RJ)

And I am deemed to have problems????

Scott, who worries that he drinks too much....orange juice....
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Old Jul 30, 2003 | 06:49 AM
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Default Re: RR98ITR!....Confess!.....Confess! (RR98ITR)

I sat up suddenly, swatted Mikes hand away from my special purpose

Good God that's funny.

Scott, still giggling.
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Old Jul 30, 2003 | 06:59 AM
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Default Re: RR98ITR!....Confess!.....Confess! (RR98ITR)

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by RR98ITR &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">
Ahem, Neverland Ranch is pop singer Michael Jacksons place. I'm a little too old to actually get in.
</TD></TR></TABLE>

A) I missed that reference on my first pass.
B) Still thought it was hilarious
C) Now that I add that reference... I'm laughin too hard to get any work done.

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Old Jul 30, 2003 | 07:35 AM
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Default Re: RR98ITR!....Confess!.....Confess! (chrisb)

I also enjoy your writings, Scott.

I agree with Willard also: If you don't like the topic, don't read it. No one is forcing you to click the button on your mouse OR keeping your eyes open with some medieval-looking contraption (while playing Lugwig Van...).

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by chrisb &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">
man, when you feel introspective indulge in some personal creative writing. When you feel that you have something to offer the community post to the board.</TD></TR></TABLE>

"Contributing to the commuity" can be many things to many people. When a great number of people find these threads very insightful and interesting, I'd say they are relevant. I for one find these threads to be a great contribution. I know others do also. Local friends who I would have never guessed read this forum have commented on this forum and Scott's writings in general. Obviously there is some interest in these topics and to the heart of racing: some deeper meaning than just budgets, plans, driving, etc, or these threads would be flamed, locked, and deleted each and every time, which they are not.

To think that motorsports is simply about 'going out and driving' is very closeminded. Why do you do it? What is the point? It sure as hell isn't because we all want to become superstars making ridiculous amounts of money. There has to be more to this than just going out and driving, like someone/something programmed for one purpose only. Metaphysics and philosophy are very worthy topics for anyone to read/discuss/write. Much like religion, this may not be for everyone. If, in a religious discussion, a non-religious person were to discredit the entire conversation, how is that useful? I suppose playing the devil's advocate would be useful, but to basically say 'this is dumb'... what's the point? Just move on and find other threads that are more interesting.

But, when there is obviously a good deal of interest in this sort of thing, what is the point of bringing the thread down and calling it worthless??

Chris - who finds this to be appropriate and insightful expression, and is still laughing about Scott's visit to 'mike'.

We aren't Terminators. We aren't programmed for one purpose only: Work to fund motorsports, drive to win. It isn't that simple for anyone, so why not hear what Scott has to say, or anyone else who cares to share??
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Old Jul 30, 2003 | 07:53 AM
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Default Re: RR98ITR!....Confess!.....Confess! (Catch 22)

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by Catch 22 &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">
Scott, still giggling.</TD></TR></TABLE>

This whole thing makes me giggle. You guys just need to know Scott to understand him, then you'd realize just how funny all this stuff really is. I'm not sticking up for him or swinging from any proverbial sack either. I don't need to. There's some personal stuff he's dealt with this year that he hasn't shared publicly, and I'm sure there's some stuff he hasn't shared with me, and that's okay. Maybe his posts just make more sense to me because I can picture that gooney-looking grin he has on his face all the time
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Old Jul 30, 2003 | 08:00 AM
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Default Re: RR98ITR!....Confess!.....Confess! (RR98ITR)

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by RR98ITR &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">
I sat up suddenly, swatted Mikes hand away from my special purpose...
</TD></TR></TABLE>

Your "Special purpose"..... BWAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!!!! LMFAO.
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Old Jul 30, 2003 | 08:31 AM
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Default Re: RR98ITR!....Confess!.....Confess! (Willard)

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by Willard &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">If you don't like it (him)DON'T CLICK ON THE TOPIC and by all means don't reply to the post.

NOBODY IS FORCING YOU TO REPLY. </TD></TR></TABLE>

Damn, that's so true.
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Old Jul 30, 2003 | 08:43 AM
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Default Re: RR98ITR!....Confess!.....Confess! (Willard)

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by Willard &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">If you don't like it (him)DON'T CLICK ON THE TOPIC and by all means don't reply to the post.

NOBODY IS FORCING YOU TO REPLY. </TD></TR></TABLE>

Best advice i've seen in a long time!!!

RR98ITR, i think the easiest way to measure the impact of your writings on HT is to look at how fast the view count rises on your posts.
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Old Jul 30, 2003 | 08:53 AM
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Default Re: RR98ITR!....Confess!.....Confess! (usuck)

You guys better get off Michael Jackson! He is the man (or woman,) it dosent matter.
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Old Jul 30, 2003 | 10:31 AM
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Default Re: RR98ITR!....Confess!.....Confess! (siisgood00)

Scott - keep it up man, I enjoy reading your stuff, and I think most people here do too. Theres not many things funnier on an Internet message board then people who complain about reading what someone else posts. If you don't like it, don't read it. You'd think someone held their eyes open, and MADE them read a 10 paragraph post. It's one thing to get upset if someone you don't like says something you don't like in your thread, specially if it's insulting or OT, but when it's the authors own thread, I don't see the issue. If you see a post created by RR98ITR, then don't click on it. Seems simple enough.

-Ben, who is all for Scott keeping us entertained and has no problem with how much of his "feelings" he decides to share.
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