Beach boys - little Honda

LOOL, the text is awesome!
1st gear it's alright, 2nd gear lalalala

in the back ground: honda honda, go faster go faster, honda honda, get faster get faster, iiiiiiit's alllright

 

hahaha Aleph burned me a CD with that on it, at first I thought it was a parody

 

That song is soooo great. I was trying to find out a way to edit the motorcycle parts out of the song but I am not that creative. That would be cool if someone did that so it related to Honda cars.

 

i like the Yo La Tengo version better- it rocks more.

 

my favorite.

So your girlfriend rolls a Honda
Playin' workout tapes by Fonda
But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda
My anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns hon

 

You can do side bends or situps
But Please don't lose that Butt...

sweet - that song rocks

 

From the Poetry contest a LONGGGG time ago on here:

One day while I was driving my teg
I felt something run down my leg
I didnt really give it much thought
Well, because it happens a lot
There was a smell from my Momo seat
My passenger looked in disbelief
I told her it was my new test pipe
She told me I should get a life
I floored my car and tried to go fast
Trying to hide the stench from my ***
Now I had just spent 10 grand in parts
Yet, I could not out run this stinky fart
I went way to fast around a bend
And hit a tree with my JDM front end
So let this be a valuable lesson to you
Your ITR wont outrun a pile of poo


===


Spoon, JUN, Mugen, and Toda.
Or AEM, Tein, DC and Rota

I spend all of my money on this damn teg
Cause all of the parts cost an arm and a leg

I buy but still can’t justify the cost
Of a 4HP increase from a $700 exhaust

With all of the money I spent for 50 horses
I could have bought a Vet and two Porsches

I get tired of seeing rice on the street
On single overhead Civics I can’t even beat

Why yes I’ll spend two grand on red seats you see
Even though people in Japan get them for free

A Japanese plate to cover my clock
Modifying my car with parts that are stock

It sounds absurd I and I understand
That yellow needles aren’t worth half a grand

Mike, Ben, Dave, I blame this on you
For all the great parts and service so true

I won’t do this all of my life
One day I’ll start spending money on my wife

And before I leave I’m just curiouse
When is the sequel to Fast and the Furiouse


==


‘Twas the Night Before The R

‘Twas the night before the R, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The garage was cleaned with the greatest of care,
In hopes that a Type R soon would be there;

My wife was asleep all snug in our bed,
While visions of R ownership danced in my head;
She in her nightgown and I in the buff,
I was in for a night that was gonna be rough,

I could not sleep, in my mind such a clatter,
I had to get some sleep that was the matter.
Away to my office I flew with a hop,
I sat in my chair and opened my laptop.

It booted so slow it seemed like a sin
I could not wait to see the pictures within,
My Computer, My Docs, I clicked with such rate
When there before me, 1997 Integra Type R Number 98.

After a while I went back to my bed,
The images of my ITR still fresh in my head.
Like a kid before Christmas I drifted to sleep,
The labors of my hard work tomorrow I would reap.

The night went by slowly with a tick toc tick toc
When what did I hear, Holy ****, my alarm clock.
I sprang out of bed with the energy of a playful pup,
Take the dogs out, make the coffee, hurry up, hurry up.

My wife yelled down “What the hell are you doing”
Today is the day, get out of bed, lets get moving.
Before she knew it we were in the car, on the way.
Slow down, watch out, you crazy she’d say.

Four years I have hoped this day would arrive,
I will not be slowed down by fools that can’t drive.
I drove with such speed, I wouldn’t be late,
For I had a date, a date with lady fate.

We decide to eat since we were so early,
We ate at the Frisches big boy, our waitress was burly.
I ordered a hamburger, but I couldn’t eat,
I awaited the R on the edge of my seat.

I called the seller who was mad I was early.
“Arnt ya gonna eat that burger” said out waitress Shirley.
Like a catholic schoolboy I awaited my penance,
“John, its gonna be another 45 minuets”.

Another 45 minuets I said to my wife.
Well guess what honey, that’s what we call life.
The knot in my stomach was an unbearable size,
So to calm my nerves I ate a few fries.

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
A championship white bullet, Honey, its here.
I flew out the door with incredible ease,
The hair on Shirley’s chin waved in my breeze.

What lay before me was a beautiful sight,
An Integra Type R in Championship White.
I looked her over with eyes of a hawk
All books, services records, solid as a rock.

I popped the lightweight hood and man alive,
What sat before me was a B18C5.
I studied for damage, I poked and I pecked,
But I came to the conclusion that she was perfect.

As he signed over the title and the dream became real,
A sense of pride, power, and privilege I would soon feel.
With a little pen flick, all it was was a sign,
That Champ White Integra was finally mine.

The look on my face was that of such glee,
My wife got tickled just looking at me.
“All this happiness over a little white car”?
Honey, this is not just a car, it’s a Type R.

As I climbed in the over bolstered seat and they held me in tight
I realized we fit together, everything was just right.
I turned the key and she came alive with a hum,
I swear I heard her say, “I knew you would come”.

On the drive home a transformation took place,
I became Jacques Villeneuvein in a Formula 1 Race.
Past Barrichello and Montoya, it was a breeze,
Then I reeled in Mike Schumacher with the greatest of ease.

I made a beautiful pass and became farther out of sight,
I exclaimed, “Your reign is over, hang it up and good night”.
The fans were going wild, they started to sing,
Ferrari is finished, Honda is king.

The feeling I get from this car is just so great,
I can’t believe I own 1997 Integra Type R number 98.
For me this machine is the best by far,
As you can tell, I love my Type R.


==


With each passing day I read the Honda-Tech topics
Trying to make my car as fast as a rocket
Instead I go crazy, no money in pocket
Trying to buy all the much needed sockets

I read through the stories of quarter miles times
and all the sad times of stolen Rs through crime
Yellow or black, which one is faster
how many were made, which one is the master?

If I may make a suggestion, let it be this
Keep the R in the garage, so it will not be missed
Alarms and hood pins are definately a must
To protect your R, thieves you can't trust

Get a club or a break lock
or why not, just get a glock
load it with bullets
to chop down those mullets
who steal our motors for civics


==


The man jumps into his mountain racer,
Completely stock, straight no chaser.
It is not set up for the windy roads,
Yet there is no match for the love of his humble abode.
Phoenix Yellow, Milano Red, Flamenco Black,
The transformation of the sky as he begins his attack.
He begins his first run with a gentle warm-up ride,
Whilst he thinks of his experience in overdrive.

As the car cuts through the darkness with its moon eyes glaring,
The sound of the EK coupe’s tires start blaring.
It’s a relationship of give and take,
This melodic symphony of clutch, accelerator, and brake.

The driver’s psyche is being consumed with thrill and emotion,
As the road slithers from the light with it’s undulating motion.
He has seen it before but something’s different this night.
Unbeknownst to him, the day was going to turn from victory to plight.

He hadn’t driven these roads in for at least a hundred days,
The roads weren’t as familiar to him to his dismay.
Much too hot he had entered the turn,
And soon enough he crashed and burned.

As he gets out of the car and looks at the damage,
The front bumper looks like a fresh knife victim, cut with no bandage.
The plain-Jane beauty has been transformed to say the least,
Too late did the brake pedal fall, the beauty is now the beast.


==


Theres a name, that is so, familiar to me,
they build cars that are such, a pleasure to see.
From it's arching back, to it's glorious wing,
The Type R is just, such a beautiful thing.
Of the finest quality, they are built in japan,
That honours every hope, that a driver demands.
So light yet so fierce, they should scare a V8,
And even in corners, the road would feel straight.

But the Type R isn't just, their one and only star,
Theres another that is simply, a true supercar.
To many, it's a drug, even better, than sex,
It's Japan's supercar, or just, the NSX.
So whether you're at, the track or the lights,
V8's or Turbos, you'll be saying goodnights!
You can take your wife out, or even, your boss,
You can go to the track, or the auto cross.

And even after that, you can make them, go better,
For the track, or the gravel, or the roads that are wetter.
So whether from here, or from Japanese imports,
or whether from R, and D MotorSports.
You will find these cars, that are already, so good,
Transform into perfect, just the way that they should.

More special than just cars, they're an icon, it seems
They are wanted, by many, they're the power, of dreams.
Two powerful icons, you would think, it's no wonder...

It's the name, it's the love, it's the power... of Honda


==


Rolling around town in my ITR,
Check my rear view for a cop car,
None in sight so I let her rip,
VTEC is the sound on this redline trip,
Grin on my face that I can't let go,
Pass a few cars, even a five point O,
The stang catches up while I'm at the light,
He revs up his car and flashes his brights,

I look over and give him the nod,
The street is clear all a broad,
Light turns green and he peels away,
Looks like I'll be playing catch up on this day,

I cough in disgust as I inhaled his smoke,
The smell of un-burnt fuel made me choke,
Doesn't take long before I get on him,
Neck and neck driving rim to rim,

Shift into third and my tires squeal,
G's pulling me back is all I feel,
Victory is near as I'm pulling away
How can a four beat a V8 you say

Turned my head as I heard a clunk
Thought it was me but it was that Ford junk
Miss shifted a gear is what he'd done
And with that one mistake, I won


==


Grand Prize - *****ALEPH*****
Honda’s Dream

Liquid fire is trapped
Inert in the dark
Randomly chosen
To meet with a spark

A prearranged marriage of violent potentials
Transform inside an aluminum cell
Fuel and air attack one another
A repeating pattern of orchestrated hell

The union yields pressure
A tangible force
Harnessed by pistons
Measured as torque

A myriad of inputs from the soul at the wheel
Expressed by machinery wrapped in cold steel
The two become one, though only one can feel
Soichiro Honda’s dream is made real

-Scott Lear 2002

Runner Up - ****MK Ultra****
a haiku for the honda mod junkies.


Brown truck in driveway.
Another new part arrives.
Wife is not happy.

Third Place - ***DisordeR***
R Life


child, adolescence

Ingestion of the nurturing (intake)

directed through a path in life(manifold)

shoved into the monotony of society (block)

(combust) forced to produce means of living

changing and ever changing on the fly(cams)

expansion, contraction

the tedium of work

quicker, faster, the speed of life only increases(vtec)

point a to point b

or is there a meaning in the voyage

all a waste? (exhaust)

expelled like many others

all over in a matter of seconds

a speck in infinity?

we're not in control(driver)

R life


Honorable Mention - **Tommy Gunns**
Rolling around town in my ITR,
Check my rear view for a cop car,
None in sight so I let her rip,
VTEC is the sound on this redline trip,

Grin on my face that I can't let go,
Pass a few cars, even a five point O,
The mustang catches up while I'm at the light,
He revs up his car and flashes his brights,

I look over and give him the nod,
The street ahead is clear all a broad,
Light turns greens and he peels away,
Looks like I'll be playing catch up on this day,

I cough in disgust as I inhaled his smoke,
The smell of un-burnt fuel made me choke,
Doesn't take me long before I get on him,
Neck and neck driving rim to rim,

Shift into third and my tires squeal,
G's pulling me back is all I feel,
Victory is near as I'm pulling away
How can a inline four beat a V8 you say

Turned my head as I heard a clunk
Thought it was me but it was that Ford junk
Miss shifted a gear is what he'd done
And with that one mistake, I won


**IntegraT**
I believe I have the best car in the land
But The R is a car some will never understand

Some do not get it "this just gets old"
"I can hear your transmission and fuel pump when it's cold"

"You must have got jiped this just cant be
A luxury car that does not have A/C"

No cruise control this can't be good
I say it's only a Honda, just lift up the hood

And the insignias etched in the windows you see
It's a hatchback for petes sake nothing luxury

Yes a Honda modified for race
With lots of upgraded parts I love to replace

Spoon, JUN, Mugen, and Toda.
Or AEM, Tein, DC and Rota

I spend all of my money on this damn teg
Cause all of the parts cost an arm and a leg

I remember not long ago, it was just for fun
An intake, header, exhaust and you're done

With all of the imports the parts are abundant
But the sad fact is that most are redundant

To find the parts that will help me the most
I have to give Honda-Tech members a toast

A black fiber hood to reduce my weight
That does not match my car and most people hate

Lots of money for Zeals to adjust and have fun
But drive every day with the damper on 1

I buy but still can't justify the cost
Of a 4HP increase from a $700 exhaust

With all of the money I spent for 50 horses
I could have bought a Vet and two Porsches

I get tired of seeing rice on the street
On single overhead Civics I can't even beat

Why yes I'll spend two grand on red seats you see
Even though people in Japan get them for free

A Japanese plate to cover my clock
Modifying my car with parts that are stock

It sounds absurd I and I understand
That yellow needles aren't worth half a grand

Can't afford SPWs and I'm almost glad
I won't have to buy new wheels when black's not the fad

Mike, Ben, Dave, I blame this on you
For all the great parts and service so true

It's really all worth it for that infrequent race
To see the look on the V8 owners face

I won't do this all of my life
One day I'll start spending money on my wife

And before I leave I'm just curious
When is the sequel to Fast and the Furious

The R, by far, the best car in it's class
Sit back, strap in, and hang on to your butt


The R 0wnz j00

**Jason**
This poem/lyrics are set to the song “Ice, Ice Baby” by Vanilla Ice…


Here it goes, it’s just the first verse:


Yo, ITR, let's kick it!

Rice Rice Baby, Rice Rice Baby

All right stop, pullup and listen

Rice is back with a brand new followin

Envy grabs a hold of them tightly

That's why they be revvin daily and nightly

Will it ever stop? Yo--I don't know

Turn off the strobe lights and the street glow

Stay away boys you look like vandals

Can't unlock my doors, I got RS handles

Kids, always starin at me

looking like I've got a VD

Deadly, when they are out street racing

Wondering why I'm not so Bling, Bling

Love em or hate em, you better give way

They'll ****** hit you and ruin your day

Tryin to lose em by hangin a right

Can't seem to keep up, I'm too damn TIZIITE!


Rice Rice Baby, JDM, Rice Rice Baby

Rice Rice Baby, JDM, Rice Rice Baby

I live my life a quarter pounder at a time. And for those 500 calories
or more, I'm free
I need FRIIIIIIESSSSSS! 2 of them, the big ones. Oh, and I need them
tonight!!

AMATURES DONT SUPER SIZE! I'VE SEEN HOW YOU EAT!!! YOU'VE GOT A BIG
MOUTH!! YOU'LL BLOW YOURSELF
UP!

What's the retail on one of those?? More than you can afford pal, a 6
dollar burger!

You're lucky the double shot of bbq sauce didn't blow a seam on your
nugget box!!!

Whoa! There she is, 2 pounds of pure MickeyD's beef. My dad ate it in
9.9 seconds. There was so much special
sauce, the juices actually dripped onto his chin coming off the line.
What's your time? I haven't tasted her. She scares the crap outta me.

My grill topped out at 140 degrees, I need more charcoal, 2 bags, the
big ones

So what're you eatin?! Oh you gonna make me look under the bun and find
out?? You're brave.

It's not how you stand by your burger, it's how you EAT your burger.

Bull shi *** hole! no one likes the McTuna sandwhich around here!

You almost had me?...you never had me, you never had your burger. your
granny-biting, not chomping like you should!!!

Now me and Ronald McDonald here are gonna have to rip open the counter,
and replace the ONION RINGS YOU
FRIED.

You know you owe me a 10 pack of nuggets. ooh. Ouch!

Don't do it! I'll bet he's got at least a triple cheeseburger under that
bun!

When you gonna give me a shot at that double quarter pounder of yours?

Torretto's got ketchup in his veins and an all beef patty for a brain.

They opened my bag. Disrespected my fries. All becuase someone narked me
out! AND YOU KNOW WHAT!! IT
WAS RONALD!!!

I thought we had an understanding? You stay on your side of the
play-place, I stay on mine.

Bryan - *Welcome to Mcdonald's, may I take your order?*
Hector - *Yeah, I made a list. I want 3 of everything.*

Pop the bun.
Pop the bun?

No @#%$! A BKBroiler! This will decimate all...

that is one hell of a way to spend $.10

Bryan-He was in MY shake!
Dom - Now I'm in your shake!

All the descriptions were the same. 3 black angus beef patties,
precision-placed pickles, mushimoto mayonaisse.

I bet a couple of 1/2 pound patties would pull a premium three days
before Taste Wars wouldn't they?

Check it out it's like this. If I lose, winner takes my happy meal. But
If I win, I take the burger AND the TOY. To
some people thats more important.

 

Yo, VTEK, lets kick it,
Rice Rice Baby, Rice Rice Baby...
Alright stop - collaborate and listen, Rice is back with a brand new
invention.
Chopped springs, they hug tha road tightly, 6 inch exhaust tip flows really
loud nightly.
Will it ever stop, yo, I don't know, hit my neon lights and I'll glow.
To tha extreme my car looks like a candle, and tha paint job - it was done
by a vandal.
Dance, I got a speaker that booms, this aint a car, it's a mobile sound
room.
Deadly, listen to tha melody, if it was louder yo, it'd be a felony.
Love it or leave it you can't gain way, with my Type-R sticker I'll lose you
any day.
If there was a problem yo I'll solve it, check out my rims while my front
drive revolves it,
Rice Rice Baby, Rice Rice Baby...
Now that my suspension is jumpin', my bumber hits tha ground, but who cares
I'm thumpin.
Quick to tha point, to tha point no fakin', cookin' mopeds like a pound of
bacon.
Burning 'em, cause I'm quick and nimble, you can't fade me and my VTEK
symbol.
In your souped up GN or 5.0... I'm on a roll, I always ride solo.
Rollin', in my 2 point 0, it runs low 18's, yo that really ain't slow.
Tha girlies on stand by, don't even want to say "Hi".
Did ya stop? No, I just flew by.
Kept on, pursuing to tha next block, I bust a left and I'm headin' to tha
next stop.
The block was dead, yo, so I continued to A-1-A, Deer Park Avenue.
Tha girls looked hot wearing less than bikinis, I saw a few chumps drivin'
stock Lamborghinis.
Jealous, cause I'm out drivin' mine, ready to race 'cuz my Nittos lookin'
fine.
If there was a problem, yo I'll solve it, check out my rims while my front
drive revolves it,
Rice Rice Baby, Rice Rice Baby...
Take heed, 'cause I'm a Honda poet, Akimoto's on tha scene just in case ya
didn't know it.
My exhaust tip, created all tha bass sound, rumbles enough to put holes in
tha ground.
'Cause my ride's style is so reeeeeeeeeeeeal, with an exhaust tone that ya
can feeeeeeeel.
4 foot spoiler, it's a helluva concept, my ride is hype, and you wanna step
WITH THIS.
In my rearview you'll fade, slice like a Ginsu - sounds like a Kitchen-Aid.
So fast, that all tha V8's say "damn", if rice was a drug I'd sell it by tha
gram.
Keep my composure when the front tire breaks loose, magnetized by the kick
of 30 horse juice.
If there was a problem, yo I'll solve it, check out my rims while my front
drive revolves it,
Rice Rice Baby, Rice Rice Baby...
Yo, we outta here... E-Brake burnouts to your mother

 

damn I need a date tonight

 

damn dude. you write a lot of poetry. (if thats what you call it )

 

lol >> nah it's all copied from the Poetry contest...I don't write much