Hey guys, long story short, I caught my wife in the act of cheating, and thus our marriage is now over. My ITR is in her name, due to the fact that they offered her a killer interest rate on the loan.


So, since divorce is inevitable at this point, should I just kiss the car good bye?

 

damn that really sucks bro. If the car is that important to you, then see what her plans are with the car, maybe you can arrange something. otherwise move on and let it be her headache. start with a clean slate and pick up another one at a later time.

 

^

yeah, I figure it will go down one of two ways. Obviously I'm EXTREMELY upset right now, and leaving her with debt that she can't afford would just be bittersweet to me. BUT..... it is a very nice ITR, and I like it a lot.

Of course I'm not going to refinance it, if she lets me keep it, she'll just have to trust me to make the payment.

I know that she is gonna want to keep my dog too. Dang it! I love that little dog.

 

My guess is that you are military. If you are military (or even a civilian), before you do anything get proof of her cheating. Trust me me on this. Someone close to me was military and divorced his wife for cheating. Since he had no proof he ended up giving up more than half of everything including and most notibly his military pension.

She probably has no use for that car so see if you can assume the loan and get her name off of it. Good luck.

 

^


yep, we're military. She is active duty, and the other guy is active duty.


And of course I have proof man, I'm a type R owner, I sleep with a camera!

I have photographic evidence of them in bed together, and a dated timeline if anyone needs to know how long it went on for.

Should I contact Military Police? Or just let her know that I could, if she doesn't just make things smooth? I don't want to be a dick. I still love her, obviously. But I can't be with her now. So of course I just want it to be painless, like removing a band aid quickly.

 

Damn man sorry to hear, picture evidence. It can be used...

 

PM me for all the info you need on this kind of situation. Im active duty as well, I have Marines under me I have to guide through these kinds of problems. You caught her, good. Now dont say anything and take the proper steps. My AIM names are in my sig.

 

wait...does she know you caught her? or did you secretly tape the affair? I dont know **** about military policies and whatnot, but be careful what you do here. I assume you guys dont have any children together so that is one less thing to worry about.

regardless man it sucks and I feel for you. she deserves to get nothing. and he deserves to get your foot in his mouth.

 

Do NOT contact military police. They cant do anything but still have the proper chain of command they have to contact. You dont want to give your wife anymore of a heads up than you need to.

 

Hope it works out for the best.

 

good luck on this one dooder. i hope it works out OK for you


make sure she gets nothing

 

Wow, I'm sorry to learn about this.

I hope everything works out well for you, and remember to keep your head up.

 

I'm not sure about the MP but even though you are married and the car is under her name under CA law I believe everything is still co-owned. Like the property and personal belongings are 50-50%.

The only thing you can keep, I believe, is the amount of money you had in your bank account before the marriage but after the marriage everthing is split at least in CA. So if that's the case with your state, you can maybe bargain with her to give you the car if and when you divorce. Sorry to hear the unfortunate events.

 

You people can be brutal.

 

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by sneakychaos &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">This thread is worthless without pictures. And I don't mean of the ITR.</TD></TR></TABLE>

Sorry but this is not the thread to post that. Do you think this is a game? Put yourself in his shoes.. use your head.

 

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by RTW DC2R &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">I assume you guys dont have any children together so that is one less thing to worry about. </TD></TR></TABLE>
He has a pic in that member pic thread with a baby son I think. Above all else, I hope that works out man.

As for the caR, if you want to keep it, use it as a bargaining chip in the divorce settlement. Sounds like you'll have a lot of leverage against her with the photos and whatnot. Just a matter of figuring out what steps to take from here on out. IMO, the quicker and quieter you can get everything resolved and settled, the better it will be for all. Good luck

 

It this country, U pretty much get rape from ex-wife.
Good Luck on the bargaining table.

 

keep your head up man

 

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by machgo5go &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">It this country, U pretty much get rape from ex-wife.
Good Luck on the bargaining table.</TD></TR></TABLE>

I would say that is true for the most part. However, adultery in a military court is not dealt with nicely. With children involved, YIKES. Since she is active duty, I would guess our buddy here could take her to the cleaners.

 

i'd at least try to keep one of them

 

I'm sorry to hear about this man, that's horrible. Life isn't fair sometimes.

Try to reason with her, if she wants to be sour, there's nothing you can do I don't think.

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by sneakychaos &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">This thread is worthless without pictures. And I don't mean of the ITR.</TD></TR></TABLE>

He just caught his wife cheating on him, he's hurting, he's worried he's going to lose things that he loves/holds closely to him, and you make a joke like that? You're ******* low man.

 

strip the car to shell keep the parts rebuild another itr

 

hey guys, thanks for all the sencerity. To the guy that wanted pics, I understand that you are just trying to lighten the situation, and honestly, I see the humor in it. While I'm not going to be able to post them up (it's pretty rough for me to see them), I know where you were going, and I'm sure you didn't mean it to be taken seriously.


We've talked it over a bit, and it's tough, because EVERYTHING is in both names as far as bills go. But she's being cool about it, and said I could have whatever I want. We'll go 50/50 on the kid, although I'm not sure how I'll feel if she starts having this other guy around him.

But I'll keep the car. So that is good news. I'm not gonna go to the military. She's being cooperative, and I'll keep things discreet. She could lose her job, and I'm just gonna let it go. The heart wants what the heart wants, but unfortunately, her's doesn't want mine.

The military will help with the divorce (for free, I suspect) and we are just gonna say that we had too many differences to make it work. Also, we are gonna separate and stay married for now, as the military will take away money and housing if she is no longer married. So, it looks like I'm heading back home to Oregon. She'll stay here in Kansas.

 

I'm so sorry man, at least she's being cool about it.

 

The thing is, it's just a car. I know the OP obviously cares about his kid more than the car but at least you can have the kid and the cake (ITR) too. Divorces are messy and with kids involved, it gets worse. Hope everything works out well for ya!