This was compiled from "10 Things NOT to say to the cop who pulls you over" which dated back in 2002. Enjoy...

10 Things NOT to say to the cop who pulls you over.

10. Your so-called "speed limits" mean nothing to me flatfoot. I live
my life one quarter-mile at a time.
9. You again? I thought I lost you at that last red light.
8. Aren't you going to strip search me, big boy?
7. I am not the droid you're looking for. You don't need to see my
papers.
6. Darn! My radar detector must be broken again.
5. You better hurry up with that ticket. Dunkin' Donuts closes in 15
minutes.
4. You're not going to search my trunk are you?
3. How about you watch my friend Ben Franklin while I get my
registration?
2. Sorry I was speeding officer, but your daughter said she had to be
home by eleven.
1. Hey Barney! How are things in Mayberry?

Here are some more

-You must have been doing 125 to keep up with me.....good job.
-I got here as quick as i could
-or if he says to you"Your eyes are red have you been drinking"?never reply
with"your eyes are glazed have you been eating donuts"?
-man, cop uniforms really DO make your a$$ look fat!!!
-Poor, pulled-over bastard: "Officer, I was just trying to keep up with traffic."
Cop: "There wasn't another car near you."
Poor, dumb bastard: "Exactly."
-don't forget 'back off! my taxes pay your salary'
-"are you here to sell me tickets to the policemen's ball?"
and wait for the cop to say: "we don't have *****"
-Could you hold my beer officer? (OK in Texas)
-"officer. I am afraid of spiders! I saw one under the gas pedal, and it just wouldnt
die
-Can you hold my beer while I get my drivers license?
-You kept up with me?!
-My wife ran away last week with a police officer. I thought you were him, and
trying to return
her.
-I only stopped because I was running out of gas.
-*start play the theme from COPS* Bad boys, bad boys...
-"Gezz, you must have been going about 130 to catch up to me!"

 

um... ok

 

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by CW-ITR &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">
2. Sorry I was speeding officer, but your daughter said she had to be
home by eleven.</TD></TR></TABLE>
haha nice.

Hey Chris! I'm home for two weeks if you wanna get a small posse together...

 

does this mean we get to post your momma so fat jokes now?

 

This topic was created in anticipation that a few of us may get stop by the law enforcement over the Holiday break (drunk, speeding...). It is meant to put a smile on the faces of those who do appreciate it.

 

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by CW-ITR &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">This topic was created in anticipation that a few of us may get stop by the law enforcement over the Holiday break (drunk, speeding...). </TD></TR></TABLE>

None of you f00ls better be driving around drunk!

Not even in the parking lot.

 

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by Mythias &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">

None of you f00ls better be driving around drunk!

Not even in the parking lot. </TD></TR></TABLE>

 

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by Mythias &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">Not even in the parking lot. </TD></TR></TABLE>

Rofl!

3 R pileup!

 

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by Opie &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">

Rofl!

3 R pileup!</TD></TR></TABLE>

 

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by Opie &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">Rofl!

3 R pileup!</TD></TR></TABLE>

I know not of what you speak.

 

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by Mythias &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">

I know not of what you speak. </TD></TR></TABLE>

best night ever

 

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by Jon D &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">best night ever </TD></TR></TABLE>

That it was.

-Brad, who left the bar with a cocktail napkin stuck to his shoe

 

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by neo_ &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">

BTW, whats this obvious inside joke that you guys are refering to?</TD></TR></TABLE>

Well...

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by Opie &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">

3 R pileup!</TD></TR></TABLE>

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by Jon D &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">best night ever </TD></TR></TABLE>

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by Mythias &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">That it was. </TD></TR></TABLE>

Sounds solidly anti-heterosexual to me.

Just kidding Opie...don't squash me.

The joke is that a few weeks back, a bunch of East Coasters converged on a sports bar in Maryland for the annual T-giving meet. Some of us left early, thinking the fun was over (me, Victor, GK) but the three Musketeers stayed on and got shitfaced. Brad kicked some smooth game, a girl threw a drink on Jon D and someone was removed from the bar after Opie made a persuasive argument to the bouncer...or something.

That is the absolute last time I leave that event early. The year before, I went back an hour or two after the meet was over, and found Willard and BBasso well above the legal limit

 

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by Pocket Ross &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">found Willard and BBasso well above the legal limit </TD></TR></TABLE>

Oh boy that was a ruff night getting home