Seems to me that the best way to "help" those stray canyon carvers is to show them the err of their ways by confessing our boneheadedness.

... Work has demanded my attention, so I'll post later.

"This is for posterity so do try to be as descriptive as possible..."

[Edit enter dumbass story]

Here are the ingredients:
18 year old, son of a motor-head, 1972 Nova, air-shocks, bias ply wide-*** tires on the rear/radials on the front, and a complete lack of understanding anything foreign (cars that is).
Add a little bit of rain, an off-ramp, a stiff gas pedal (carb spring) and a grassy median.

It was a damp night, White Snake was tickling my ears through the Fiero bucket seat speakers and a little piece-of-crap rice-mobile just passed me before the off ramp. Rt. 55 at this point pretty much ended here so when the car passed I knew he had to get off.

(enter Jan and Dean music)

I think to myself how is that car pulling away from me? No matter I've got the straight line speed and I'll catch him on Woodbury-glassboro Rd. The off-ramp curved right 270 degrees and over. As I approached the merge onto Wood-glass Rd I rolled on the throttle. I distinctly remember not hearing anything or feeling anything happen and before I knew it I was overlooking Rt 55. Like every other bonehead, I lifted, the car snapped the other direction and sent me sailing across two lanes and up onto the grassy median dividing the four lane road.

I was lucky, there was no traffic next to me, and I was lucky the DOT had enough sense to put a WIDE median in the middle of this "cloverleaf".

I killed the two front tires, and bent two true magnesium rims... man I spent so much time cleaning those puppies up too. But the thing I remember most was how hard I hit the curb. I still remember the feeling... very metallic. The other weird thing was that the radio became really loud.

This was the last story in a three part series called "Dave's three curbs".


Modified by emwavey at 11:06 PM 11/11/2005

 

This one time, at band camp....

 

one time, at bandcamp... I just got my IT spec motor in the car and running and was so excited to drive that I forgot to torque down the rear wheels.
it took about 5 half throttle passes down the service road outside my shop until WHOMP the back end of the car suddenly felt lower, and my wheels rolled past me! the only damage was my pride, luckily AND I managed to find all of the lugnuts!

 

Bald Azenis in Rear of AWD car + Standing Water + straight + feeding throttle = car turn 45 degrees toward 'shrubbery'.

Broke a lower limb off the 'shrub'... no damage to car.

Was instructing passenger on how to take it easy in the wet when auto-xing.

It was a 50' straight parallel to grassy area with the only 'shrub' anywhere near any surface where we auto-x.

--kC

 

Wanna hear something really boneheaded?

When I graduate in the spring, I plan on attempting to campain my 89 prelude nationally in STS.

You're probably wondering, 'how they hell does this kid expect to graduate?'

 

yea, I broke 2 windshields by not latching my hood....

 

Forgot to put the oil cap back on after adding a quart. So much for a nice clean engine...

 

it was senior year of high school, and i had just put my summer tires back on the miata. beautiful spring day, temperature in the upper 40s. top down, because thats how you drive a miata.

i went for a cruise around town, then to my favorite set of curves. it was a big S-curve in an industrial area. ran through 2nd and 3rd, then hit the brakes to slow down for the corner. turned in, realized i was going too fast, and hit the brakes again.

the car snap oversteered and i went backwards into a curb. i ended up about 15 feet in the grass. both rear tires flat, wheels bent, and the alignment both front and rear shot to hell.

last time i did that kind of driving! heh

 

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by KC &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">Bald Azenis in Rear of AWD car + Standing Water + straight + feeding throttle = car turn 45 degrees toward 'shrubbery'.
</TD></TR></TABLE>
I know all about bald azenis....

 

When I totaled my daily driver (from doing something stupid), I had to drive my auto-x car to work for two weeks on my new set of Hoosiers. Needless to say that cost me about $400 a week because at the end of those two weeks, the tires were destroyed.

 

I went off to college in fall of '97, where I was introduced to tray sliding. I promptly introduced my vehicle to a curb. I had to replace a wheel. That winter, we had a heavy snow. I took my car to the arena parking lot to do donuts in reverse. I hit another curb and had to replace my replacement wheel. The next year, I bought an old beat up Jeep and a new pimpy winch. I went out, got stuck in the mud, and used said pimpy winch to pull a dead tree across the hood and windshield of said beat up Jeep.

 

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by steverife &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">I went off to college in fall of '97, where I was introduced to tray sliding. I promptly introduced my vehicle to a curb. I had to replace a wheel. That winter, we had a heavy snow. I took my car to the arena parking lot to do donuts in reverse. I hit another curb and had to replace my replacement wheel. The next year, I bought an old beat up Jeep and a new pimpy winch. I went out, got stuck in the mud, and used said pimpy winch to pull a dead tree across the hood and windshield of said beat up Jeep.</TD></TR></TABLE>

lmao!!!

That made me laugh.

 

After adjusting the valves on my racecar at the track I neglected to remove the ratchet I was using to turn the crank. I then started the car and WHACK the wrench smacked the framerail and proptly dropped to the floor with the head of the crank pulley bolt in it.

After a little bit of scrounging though my tool box I found the correct bolt and located the necessary tools to remove the remaining part of the bolt that was in the crank.

 

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by Zephyr-The Subaru Guy &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">After adjusting the valves on my racecar at the track I neglected to remove the ratchet I was using to turn the crank. I then started the car and WHACK the wrench smacked the framerail and proptly dropped to the floor with the head of the crank pulley bolt in it.

After a little bit of scrounging though my tool box I found the correct bolt and located the necessary tools to remove the remaining part of the bolt that was in the crank.</TD></TR></TABLE>

Similar story...

After getting my new motor in the car I drove it to Sebring for an autocross...

While leaving tech... my crank pulley fell off. It turns out I forgot to lock tight the crank pulley bolt.

Then this past weekend I took it to another autocross. I just replaced all the shifter bushings and installed a short shifter. I guess I didn't finish the job, and I didn't have time to "nut and bolt" the car before the race... so I lost the stabilizer arm bolt (The one to the tranny) mid run. A station worker found the bolt, and I had it installed to miss only one run.

 

Had to rush to work after an autocross and was too lazy to take off the hoosiers. About midnight was coming back through the twisties on the way home, not even over the 40 mph speedlimit. People had their lawn sprinklers on and it started a big puddle on the road, hydroplaned right off the road, over a flowerbed and slid about 70feet over their front lawn. That was emberassing.

Moral: Hoosiers are not street tires DOT rating or not

 

I don't know where to start.

 

Pulling a trailer with my truck, went to swing around in my mom's backyard as I approached, as it had been DRY in NC and I was in OH, my buddy said "what the H*LL are you doing" as the front tires went into the grass, off the pavement, down a little hill. I promptly realized that it had rained for a week straight in OH, the sunshine of the day was not there all week, and it was too late stop and backup. So I had my nice white F250 7.3L and 18ft enclosed trailer buried in the backyward that I have now decorated with nice brown mud, apprx 15 yards from the pavement.

:Light Bulb:

Go get the Explorer I said, mom's Explorer. So we hook up the Explorer to pull out this stuck truck and trailer. Explorer gets a hair from getting stuck so now that it is covered in mud, off to the farm to get the John Deere 4030. Proceed to pull everything out with the John Deere and clean everything off and my mom proceeds to come out and read me the riot act because there are people coming the next day to look at the house to buy it. My reply well I just put in some drainage ditches so the yard wouldn't be so wet for them.

 

Showing off how good my new brakes were on my Prelude to my roomie:

Came flying into the alley behind our apt. Slammed on the brakes, yanked the wheel to right. Front left wheel caught a large (I'd known it was there forever) water filled pothole, surrounding a man hole. Front tire was ripped wide open on the sidewall by the manhole lip. Only lucky part: the car kept sliding straight down the alley on the rim of my wheel. Radius Rod and LCA a little bent.

[EDIT] AND...

I was leaving a bar on one side of the UT to go to a Taco stand on the other... rather than go around, we decided to take the shortcut through campus. I stopped at the first stop sign. My friend in his 'Teg blew by me on the right through some empty parking spots. I dumped the clutch and went after him.

According to friends a UTPD officer was sitting not 20m from our antics and immediately gave chase. He radioed ahead, and 1/2 mile later we ran headlong into a roadblock. Our tickets read reckless endagnerment, reckless driving, failure to stop, failure to yield, and a bunch other things listed under "other warnings" but the ticket was only for "Competition of Speed". Prosecutor let us DD out of it, only because the two of us were a snivelling buncha 18yr olds.

To this day I do not know a) how I passed the sobriety test, b) why I'm not in jail, and c) why I'm not dead.

 

Kinda have one.....

Just rained and I had to give my brother a ride to his friends house like two blocks away. As Im backing out of the driveway its starts to rain again, and I know my car is very light and the tires (were) for ****. So as we pull onto the main street near my house, being the stud that I am and the proud dumb ***, I shift into 2nd and give er 3/4 throttle and build up the rpms.....as this is happening I notice that we are not increasing in speed, the next second were at a 45 degree angle to the curb and a big *** truck is only inches from smashing into my recently finished car. I up shift to thrid and luckily bring her back without snapping er all the other way round, which would have put me sqaure into that truck. Lucky or good....not sure yet.....still going with lucky.

Lesson: No high rpm shifting in the rain.

 

This one time, at band camp, I was a 16 year old who thought he knew everything about road racing and autocross just because I drove R/C cars, and I spent thousands of dollars on parts for a car I don't even own yet, assuming that I'd automatically know how to use them once I started driving. Oh yeah, I also pretended to be someone on H-T's cousin and I annoy the absolute **** out of his friends on AIM and on Myspace, and I'm completely oblivious to the fact that they can't stand me. I deserve to be run over by a truck full of AIDS.

 

Maalox moment 1&2 for both my instructors;

It started out at Mid-ohio just bought a track car, first time. In Hpde 1 first couple sessions I developed a snap in the back end, started spinning for no reason. Started getting worse and worse, after one of the sessions took it to a friend to look at it the rear driver side tire was leaning like this&gt; / so we tried pusing it back in and went back out on track. The car back end was snaping after every turn after spinning out 3 times and avioding various people in the process. Went off track jacked up the car and discovered the subframe had a whole big enough to stick your hand in it.

Same car Beaverun, rainning out (big suprise) Hpde 2 I took the stock wheels off of my DD leased integra put them on my civic ($500 rims each $150 each tires don't ask how I know another story) anyway 4 laps into someone spins between turn 2&3 hits the guard rail(standing water on the track in those turns). Next lap on Turn 2&3 my car just snaps on the turn I loose it and come within feet of the other car. I take a quick check see slight damage on the front. Drive it to where I was parked jacked the car up right where the subframe was repaired everything was damaged. thankfully only a few scratches on my integra wheels. Thankfully both times the honda guys were cool enough to let me borrow trailers or i would have been doubled screwed


Needless to say both of my instructors need depends after being in the car with me. One instructor in particular was extremely pissed and me and my friend.

 

Ah, to be 19 and stupid...

Part 1:
Ran from a cop on my motorcycle.
Got away
Totalled bike shortly after (permanent back damage)
Cop found me
Lost license for a month

Part 2:
Driving car without license
Ran from a cop in my car
Totalled car
Lost license for a year

Part 3:
Two years later I went to get my license back (delayed because I didn't have money for a car)
Found out I had an outstanding ticket
Paid ticket
Lost license for another year

 

Similar to JeffS: Got tagged for doing 80 in a 40 zone, floored it instead of pulling over, zipped into an alley in front of another car, nearly had a heart attack when the cop drove by, but didn't see me (will NEVER EVER do that again).

Also, driving in the winter on a &lt;32* night with Azenis, come around a decreasing radius corner too fast, somehow manage to save it and not hit the car coming the other way.

Last, but certainly not least: drove in a circle (albeit trying unsuccessfully to pull a tire-screaming donut) in an empty school parking lot on a Sunday afternoon, get pulled over by two campus cops, ticket for reckless driving, $600, 5 points. Also will never again mess around in a parking lot (at least not at UMBC )

 

back when i firt put new rims on my car they came with some crappy allseason with directional tread. i thoguht it was a badass race tire. (no i did not know anyhting aobut tires back then) basically undeered plowed into a curb and $1800 later i did some research bought some es100s and took up autoXIng. thinking abut all the cool stuff i could have gotten with 1800 makes me not do hard turns on the street anymore

 

LoL, love all the stories...

As i was taking out my shift linkage, came a fountain of oil. previous tranny job, i used the wrong 12mm bolt (stabilizer arm bolt on the tranny) that was 5 threads too long, and using a long rachet, i didnt notice my dumbass breaking through my tranny casing with the bolt. $150 for the new casing...

and also....

Was about to go celebrate 420 up in the hills with my little rocket and i decide to run through the turns that i always do. Forgot i recently changed my rear shocks for some dead shocks (long story with lowering car and broke bolts on LCA) and my tail lift and into the hill i go. Flip the car and to this day, i remember how stupid i was EVERYTIME i look at the scar on my friends face