…and so it was at Mizunami I discovered a riddle…..


I am 780mL.

I am greenish/brownish.

I am liquid (most of the time)

You did not ingest me, but I still almost killed you.

What am I?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
The brake fluid in my Skyline.


Black with a hint of green...that probably isn't good....

In Japan, there are a number of small circuits scattered across the countryside, thankfully most at least an hour away from the population epicenters that I lovingly refer to as humanitarian clusterflucks.

The ones I have experienced are open everyday, and offer a fine venue for car enthusiasts to blow a little steam off in a legal and somewhat safe arena. To race, you just hand in the fee (usually $30-40 USD) rent a helmet and gloves if necessary (necessary), and fill out a waiver. I have filled many a waiver in my day, and 99.9% of which are just legal mumbo-jumbo which ultimately end up occupying a landfill or unloved filing cabinet, but the waivers in these locations are justified, as any soul unlucky enough to break through the tire wall is going to get a free air bag and roll bar test down the 300 foot drop after the straight.


The key difference between Japan and USA (in respect to our current topic, anyway) is the pre-race technical inspections by a sanctioned track member. In the USA, you get a full checklist that the tech inspector goes through, battery tie down, fluids, tires, etc etc…
So; let’s say a 12 year old Skyline with junk brake fluid that the owner in his own blind ignorance failed to check would be noted. Another advantage is that you have a live human being, able to make judgments on the racer based on aspects outside of a purely technical basis.

If I show up to a track day at Road America eating my shoe while systematically attempting to light my ether soaked bunny costume on fire, there is a good chance I will be stopped prior to racing.

But in the land of automation and panty vending machines, the tech. corner is replaced by a talking Pocari Sweat machine. (For those who have not yet discovered the mystery behind Japanese labeling, Pocari Sweat is a grapefruit flavored sports drinks that lives on its promise of replacing your positive ions) There is no tech station. If I feel so inclined to unsettle my battery and race with it on top of a 5 gallon can of hi-test, there will be no complaints from the Pocari Sweat machine.



Where most people turn…..

…and then for the free rollcage test.

Diversions have struck again, my apologies. But it was that day that I made the fatal mistake of assumption. As a pilot assumes he is higher than the mountain he strikes, I have assumed my Skyline was ready for the abuse it was about to endure. I had also assumed that I was invincible and an infallible racing driver with enough skill from dashes at American tracks and enough seat time in Gran Turismo to insure nothing less than a dominating and victorious sprint on this particular summer day.

Reality had a different plan.

The reality is that racing demands precision, consistency, and an understanding of physics. None of which I am particularly good at, none of which I was in possession that day. The day that racing skills consist of eating Taco Bell, watching TV, and playing Video Games, I will dethrone Schumacher, I bet my first born on it.

Couple the lack of skills with an assumption that the 88,000km old brake fluid in the Skyline would somehow make it through the Chinese water torture session I had planned, and you can see where this is going.

It happened on the 10th or 11th journey around the circuit. I say journey because my racing line discovered a new apex each time around, thus making it more of a unique expedition each time around, and less qualifying for them to be called “laps”.

Regardless, I shot out of the last turn in 3rd gear at about 60mph, foot to the floor and RB20DET engine literally screaming for some sort of divine intervention to put it out of misery.


Somewhere in the chaos that I roughly label “racing” 3 of 4 bolts holding the turbine onto the Manifold decided to abandon ship, causing the gasket between manifold and turbine to make a reed-like scream under boost. The screaming was later replaced by that of the driver…


That came 10 seconds later in the braking zone, where my Neanderthal efforts towards the middle pedal drove it straight to the floor, and bled all of 15mph off of my current 100mph. The tire wall was now a definite possibility; this is one of those situations where you don’t need a roll cage, rather an ejection seat.

But I was without one, and this situation called for immediate action, downshifting the pig into 3rd bled an undetermined amount of speed off, diverting attention from the speedometer for now, as I would have plenty of time to do that in about 4 seconds when it would be wedged into my face. I was now experiencing pure terror. Not “It’s you’re baby” terror, or “Hi, I’m Bob Wilson from the IRS!” terror, but this-is-going-to-sting terror. I braced for impact and unconsciously tried one last move….

…yanking the emergency brake for the first time in an actual emergency.

The tires yelled back with a sound comparable to a hyena getting its manhood taken off with a sawzall, and the back end immediately snapped around and swapped places with the front. Bluish white tire smoke from the now deceased Yokohamas filled my windshield and I was still ready for impact, able to send my first prayer to Jesus that the GTR seat would handle to force of my oversized body slamming against it, but I was stricken with vertigo, unable to realize that when the car swapped ends, it had bled almost all of the speed off. The Skyline, emerging from a cloud of tire smoke and dust, ended up 5 feet away from the tire wall, unscathed.



…a cloud of tire smoke and dust, not an uncommon sight when I am driving.

The driver, however, was not. Was it the car or my own incompetence that almost killed me?




Both car and driver refilled with fresh EUNOS DOT 4…


…and were back on the track terrorizing the locals in no time!

This is a very arguable point, one can take the stand and say that my own neglect almost took my life and turned me and my car into an airborne tumbling mass of metal, humanity, and Laotian ignition components, but I disagree.

Since turning the key in the god-forsaken car it has had one goal, to crush me. Whether that be running perfectly only when the police are watching and have my life ended via police beating (http://forums.subdriven.com/zerothread?id=1835026)

Perhaps by repeated attempts to self-destruct at redline, with the intent of sending cast iron fragments through the firewall (https://honda-tech.com/zerothread?id=928938).

You know, I honestly put 100% effort into trying to fix the car, trying to make it run perfect, trying to clean up the misfiring, stalling, and hatred towards me. Countless Power Transistors, Crank angle sensors, MAFs, Fuel Pumps….hours spent in the “mild” (relative to, of course, the surface of Mercury) Nagoya summer wrenching…but in retrospect, I guess the best solution would have been for me to don a dominatrix style ball gag each time I drove the car, as acceptance of me being the Nissan’s bi*tch.


Checking the front for small children and wildlife after an off road excursion earlier….

Oh well, there is always next summer….

 

You seriously could be an automotive writer...

 

d00d, did you do this twice? or just decided to repost your own thread? either that or i've got a serious case of de ja vue (sp?) going on here...

nate

 

I figured that as well...

Maybe a 2nd trip to Mizuniainoniausdfl Motoland?

 

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by solo-x &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">d00d, did you do this twice? or just decided to repost your own thread? either that or i've got a serious case of de ja vue (sp?) going on here...

nate</TD></TR></TABLE>

1st time was pictures and no words, as I was preoccupied at being a good sarariman to sufficiently document the story. If this at all bothers you, please feel free to kick me in the ***** to help compensate for any clicking discomfort I have brought upon you.

 

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">If this at all bothers you, please feel free to kick me in the ***** to help compensate for any clicking discomfort I have brought upon you.
</TD></TR></TABLE>

That's funny right there....

 

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by Accord94DX &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">1st time was pictures and no words, as I was preoccupied at being a good sarariman to sufficiently document the story. If this at all bothers you, please feel free to kick me in the ***** to help compensate for any clicking discomfort I have brought upon you. </TD></TR></TABLE>

ah, i get it now. i thought i was loosing my mind for a minute there.

nate

 

How/when did you end up in JDM land?

 

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by Crack Monkey &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">How/when did you end up in JDM land? </TD></TR></TABLE>

Connections through my old international school in osaka.

 

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by kb58 &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">You seriously could be an automotive writer...</TD></TR></TABLE>

Good write up<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by Accord94DX &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">

Connections through my old international school in osaka. </TD></TR></TABLE>
Always pays to have connections

 

mmmm... panty vending machines.
2.0L of I6T goodness =

 

Dude you should really become a writer! That was some funny ****!

And this was the funniest thing I've heard in a long time
<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">
If this at all bothers you, please feel free to kick me in the ***** to help compensate for any clicking discomfort I have brought upon you.
</TD></TR></TABLE>

 

great story!

 

what are minimum requirements to get on a track like that and what are the different run groups that show up. Is it a club you run with just open gerneral track?
Since they cancelled Car Road im outa the loop.

 

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by R you serious &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">what are minimum requirements to get on a track like that and what are the different run groups that show up. Is it a club you run with just open gerneral track?
Since they cancelled Car Road im outa the loop. </TD></TR></TABLE>
Entry Fee
License
Car
Helmet
Gloves

*****, lots of.

 

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by Accord94DX &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">
Entry Fee
License
Car
Helmet
Gloves

*****, lots of. </TD></TR></TABLE>


i got all but one....


time i head out to JDM land and roll some nOObs