Ok guys,
Here goes a very complicated question. I have been going out with my wonderful girlfriend for over 3.5 years and we will be getting married in the future.... Anyways, here's my question. I have always had a love for cars and I am quite knowledgeable about them. I have done a couple of autocrosses and want to beging getting more involved in the sport. However, understandably my girlfriend is very hesitant about this. She is worrid about the obvious. I have been trying to get her more involved and more interested into cars, but I am always getting mixed feelings. I brought her to an autocross and she enjoyed herself all day until about 4 when she wanted to go. I bring her to Lime Rock and she has fun. But as soon as I say racing, she doesn't like it. However, as of late I have been hearing things from her like" yesterday I was driving on the back roads and was having fun!" this along with other suttle comments leads me to believe she has some interest, but certaintly not on my level. I will talk to her about cars and she listens but gets bored after a while. I am trying to get her more comfortable and trying to have some un. I am going to bring her out and teach her how to drive my integra along with a standard. All this is making me wonder, what should I do if any to maybe peak her interest and perhaps get involved? Any suggestions? What do your girlfriends do. I remember a post a while back about not having a girlfriend. This is not an acceptable answer for me. I love her and want to be with her. I love cars, but gitting rid of her is not an option. There is much more in lfe than cars, IMO. Any help appreciated!

 

Have her talk to other women that race. Put her in your car for an auto-x. Don't push her until she's ready to try it for sure or she'll just resent that you "made" her try it. I was hooked after I tried it. Tell her it's more fun than it looks.

r2x - who is a girl

 

Bring her out! Show her what goes on... explain the sport, the event. If she knows whats going on and can get excited about it she will have fun, want to come back, and support your involvement. If you autocross, bring her along for rides in the car And drive at 8/10ths........

-Ryan

 

be happy that your girl goes to the Auto-x

you have to remember that she may not be totally interested in the sport like you are... but damn.. she's making an effort because you like it. Enjoy the time you spend together at the track.
Keep her actively involved. Make sure shes entertained and feels important and productive when she is there.. and then reward her...
Have her talk to other girls that are involved.

My gf doesn't want to sit around all night and talk about compression ratios, tire temperatures, late apexing, ingersoll-rand air tools, and main bearnings.
But she likes to come watch me race.

Now if I meet a girl who already talks cars like I do .. well then...
well you know...



[Modified by Crazydave, 7:14 PM 12/5/2001]

 

It's the funniest thing. My gf seems quite interested in coming out to an event but I'm slowly succeeding in getting her interested enough to ride along. The funny part is that I've SEEN her sliding her car on gravel, straight-line braking and then adding gas on turn-in to power through corners. I haven't TOLD her to do any of those things, I think she's picked them up unconsciously from hearing me gabber about cars all day long. One day though, I have this feeling she's going to wrench me off the wheel and I'll know I've succeeded when she's belting herself into the driver's seat... I know I'm a lucky guy. I remember one day when I was out with her that I spent basically the whole night bitching about my car. Most girls I know would be annoyed by this, but not her. Instead, she took it on a positive note that I was willing to share with her my feelings on something that obviously matters to me and attempt to involve her, even if she didn't entirely understand exactly what I was talking about.


[Modified by WRXRacer111, 11:30 AM 12/5/2001]

 

Mine was easy - she was already involved . . .

 

Remember sometimes they just want to watch and not participate. I do not bug my wife anymore unless she speaks up. It's like the other way around - she knows I hate doing flower gardens and arts/crafts stuff so she never asks me unless I stand up and ask.

Let her go into at her own pace. Pushing her will only make her hate and regret it even more than she is now. Or ask her why she's not interested always works too

 

Yeah, mine too. Oops sorry, you meant with car stuff

 

Jason - Don't make me kick your ***... it'd be embarassing for you...

 

You're right...

**goes into time out for misbehavior**

jason- who looks forward to seeing the miata r again

 

Am I the only one who enjoys the weekend away?

 

Another thing to be wary of.. forgive me r2x.. but some females can be jealous of activities that are important to their guys. I say let her take it at her own pace-- don't push too hard, and don't ever let it seem _too_ important.

I think just about every guy on this board would love (does love --lucky bastards) for their GF/spouse/etc. to co-drive their car and such.. if you figure out a sure-fire formula, post it here!

 

You guys are quick 2 hours and already 11 posts! Thanks for the insight. I definitely do not want to push her, she is the type who will just get angry and quit if she is pushed. But like the others say, I see her ripping though town or trying to race me. Whenever, we go anywhere and take two cars she always blows by me and tries racing me. When we get there, I always comment like you wish you could be that good, and she has a smile from ear to ear. I think she likes driving fast, but is very intimidated by my knowledge and the others who autocross or race. She likes going with me to places, but has a thershold and when its time to leave, I have learned its time to leave! She is quite shy and I am just trying to find out what she really thinks. Hmmmmmm...... I think I am going to try to teach her how to drive my car and let her push the envelope a little bit. I think she gets scared though at certain times. If she likes drivig my car, then I will think about letting her come along and maybe drive. As long as I feel comfotable with her shifting skills! I am a little scared that my already fragile tranny will be worth nothing when I get done teaching her. Any more ideas? Keep them coming!

 

I've seen this too many times. No need to forgive anything. Just don't make your woman feel like she's less important than your car. And if she is less important than your car, re-evaluate why you're dating her.

 

Let her use your car.......
autocrossing is the best driver training program out there.. it can only make her a better driver...
besides... better to destroy one car instead of two...
at least if your car gets thrashed she can drive you to work

 

As eluded to above, success depends on her.

My ex hated the whole motorsports thing. She would not get involved at all (not even just watching) and viewed it as just something that took me away from home several weekends a year. Nothing I could do was gonna change this.

My current girlfriend is the exact opposite. She took an immediate interest and all I had to do was let her autocross my car one time, she was hooked. Now she splits her motorsports time between being a national level autocrosser and being my crew chief.
Yep... I'm lucky .

 

Okay,from my view point this is how it goes.
The actual racing(on track time autox/road race,rally,drag,etc.)is a very small part of the whole equation. Get her to come out to more events and get her involved with some of the people and characters you meet.She will soon realise it is much more than just the competitive side of things that counts.Grass roots motor sports is a venue to go out,meet new people and make new friends.Hell i spend way too much money on the sport,why.Because i have never met a group of people more willing and available to help the average joe out.It all boils down to the possibility of new relationships.
Rant off.
Al.(not really a rant)

 

Two points I'll contribute:

1 - A lot of people are intimidated the first time they see an autocross, even more so after they get a ride with someone. They often haven't ever THOUGHT of pushing their car that far and often begin to think that "they don't have what it takes". Do whatever you can to bolster their confidence. Celebrate the "little" victories without being insincere.

2 - If you do end up getting your girlfriend hooked, try and figure out the real reason why she's doing it. If she's doing it because she wants to spend time with you, that's great but ALWAYS be cognizant that she may enjoy a quiet evening at home equally.
If she is doing it because she actually enjoys it for herself, then all the better but don't make it your relationship. And be careful how you handle the competition.

My $.02...

Andy - who wouldn't mind getting some practice "hooking".... Wait, that didn't come out right...



[Modified by maxQ, 10:33 PM 12/5/2001]

 

LOL, I considered it a personal triumph when I got a gal friend who had sworn to never ride on the back of any jetski with me at the helm to ride in the passenger seat of the Integra for many fun runs at the wet NASA event. I'm not sure if that's just because my car was a dry place but... she even seemed to be having FUN even if me yelling "wheeee!" (documented on the in-car camera) before pitching the car into turns might have been a little disconcerting.

 

bring her to an auto-x and let her ride shotgun with you. i found out that mine has a great eye and feel for what is fast and what is not. she didnt know how to fix it or what causes it, but by the end of the day i was asking her where i could pick up time.

 

I'm starting to think that we could make some money by cloning RoadRacer's girlfriend, r2x, and my wife, and selling the clones to single guys in motorsports. Women who enjoy this stuff are just in too short demand.

But, to actually try to be helpful -- my wife eventually got tired of just sitting around and watching. So her first event was an auto-x school. She had Eric Peterson (BS Miata and now Spyder) as an instructor, and he instantly became her favorite person in the world. The guy is just fantastic about helping a novice, and he really boosted her ego about her driving.

Sometimes just meeting the right person, and getting the right encouragement, is useful. I would be hesitant to tell your girlfriend to try to befriend other women in the sport, because many of the women (and men) in the sport are downright serious as hell and intmidating.

So -- make sure she is surrounded by people who will stroke her ego and help her out. It is often hard for the man in the relationship to fill that role effectively. This is my experience, and, of course, YMMV!