I've posted pics of my Dad's old Peerless - the English kit car body/chassis that used a Triumph TR3 for a donor.

As it happens I still have the cast aluminum grill for it. I found it many years ago stuffed up into the roof trusses in my family's old house. I hadn't a clue what it was, thought maybe it was off some old Plymouth. I am at a complete loss as to why I then stuffed it away instead of disposing of it.

Some time back I came across it again, and somehow made the connection - sure enough, it's the Peerless grill.

So I find the US and English Registries and email the administrators trying to find a home for it. I tell some of my buddies about it and they tell me that the English are cheapskate slimeballs and not to expect much.

The English Registry Administrator responds with interest and qualifies with some mention of economic hardship his offer of $20 plus shipping.

I'm kinda offended and pissed so I don't respond. He then follows up with a bit of an apology and inquires into my thoughts.

I tell him it can sit on my wall till somebody pays me $200.

He then tells me that he can have a replica cast for much less than that and offers me at most $70.

I think of many ways to respond running from the polite to the hostile, but hold back.

Humor is the tack I decided to take. Here's what I sent him this morning:

Jon,

In these critical times as the evil and illegitimate Bush regime tightens it's
grip around the throat of the American people and moves the genocide against
Islam to the next level, our family like most others is forced to shocking
extremes just to keep from starving to death.

The Peerless grill is one of the last remaining family heirlooms that we can
sell, and so you can appreciate that we can't just give it away. I know that you
must be suffering terribly too under the yoke of monarchy, and that your effort
to complete your Peerless is an act of admirable courage and rebellion.

Perhaps the best thing for all of us is if I pound it out into a crude slashing
weapon to use in the final conflict when Attorney General Ashcroft's storm
troopers bash in my front door to try to take my doggies to the Soylent factory.

Cheers,

Scott


We've got this peculiar guy in Portland, Cliff Major, who owns the single largest hoard of antique British motorcycle parts in the US, if not the world. He is well know for having the last of many items. You ask, he brings it to the counter, he tells you the price. If you express the sentiment that perhaps his price is too high he might refuse to sell it to you at all. But if you really get him on the right day, he has been known to destroy the object right before your eyes.

I bow to Cliff.


Scott, who, according to Mrs Humungous, isn't the worlds most skillfull negotiator...but, as in so many other things, "winning" can be a very subtle thing...

 

I don't know why - but that made me laugh out loud.....

Nash - who has a visual of Scott making some pimpy part for the R out of the Peerless grill on his pimpy machine tools

 

Awesome.

 

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by RR98ITR &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">the English are cheapskate slimeballs and not to expect much.</TD></TR></TABLE>

See, I knew that you were french at heart... or at least, your buddies are.


Sebastien, ducking - and feverishly awaiting the british boiled roast with mint chutney that will shortly get tossed at me. In the meantime, allow me to fart in your general direction.

 

Priceless response, Scott. Love the way you capture the worldly way of words that the British are so well known for. George Knighton would be proud.

Casey, who requests that you post the response you get from the English administrator

 

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by RR98ITR &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">

We've got this peculiar guy in Portland, Cliff Major, who owns the single largest hoard of antique British motorcycle parts in the US, if not the world. He is well know for having the last of many items. You ask, he brings it to the counter, he tells you the price. If you express the sentiment that perhaps his price is too high he might refuse to sell it to you at all. But if you really get him on the right day, he has been known to destroy the object right before your eyes.

I bow to Cliff.</TD></TR></TABLE>

That's uncalled for; why break something?
Then again, I'm not in the market for old british bike parts, and I'll be damned if I take up with another LUCAS (short for lucifer) possessed mistress any time soon.

 

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by Neo &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">Priceless response, Scott. Love the way you capture the worldly way of words that the British are so well known for. George Knighton would be proud.

Casey, who requests that you post the response you get from the English administrator</TD></TR></TABLE>


except that Scott's "Bush regime tightens it's grip" should have been "its"

 

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by bb6h22a &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">
That's uncalled for; why break something?
</TD></TR></TABLE>

I dunno, call him eccentric, with a flare for all things dramatic. A memorable sort of fellow...

 

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by SJR &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">


except that Scott's "Bush regime tightens it's grip" should have been "its" </TD></TR></TABLE>

Oh my, the **** retentive grammarian bastard in Sebastian has surfaced once again....

 

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by Neo &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">

I dunno, call him eccentric, with a flare for all things dramatic. A memorable sort of fellow... </TD></TR></TABLE>

I suppose.

 

Cliff is an extremely special person.

He's been in the motorcycle business since the late 40's - early 50's, and even his friends will tell you he's an *******.

His shop is bizzare. It's got numerous displays of cultural artifacts and there's barely room to walk to the counter. The counter has piles maybe 2-3 feet high.

The front windows are plastered with odd documents reflecting his belief in numerous earthly and interplanetary conspiracies.

But, like anyone, Cliff desires his proper respect. He had the forsight to hoard containers full of "worthless ****". And when some yuppie dilletante comes across with a condescending attitude Cliff excercises his Power.

For those of us not in need of anything he has, these are great stories. We understand that Cliff doesn't need the money. He's just living his life in a different and more completely personal way than many of us.

I look at him as more than a curiousity. He's a unique lesson in some of lifes more subtle aspects.

Scott, who has known more than his share of such unique personalities...I've been lucky that way.

 

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by Neo &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">Oh my, the **** retentive grammarian bastard in Sebastian has surfaced once again.... </TD></TR></TABLE>

yup - kinda goes with being a french a-hole. BUT, I bet you that a "cheapskate slimeball" brit would not have made that small grammatical mistake (at least, I'm pretty sure that George would not have.) So there. (the child in Sebastien comes out occasionaly as well.)

 

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by SJR &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote"> BUT, I bet you that a "cheapskate slimeball" brit would not have made that small grammatical mistake (at least, I'm pretty sure that George would not have.) So there. </TD></TR></TABLE>

Touche, I concede your point. BUT, I've never known H-T'ville or other web boards to be great bastions for those for those with perfect prose, diction, grammar, and spelling. That said, this forum offers many, many intelligent life forms. And I'm not saying I am one of them. So there, yerself.

 

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by rambler &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">I don't know why - but that made me laugh out loud.....

Nash - who has a visual of Scott making some pimpy part for the R out of the Peerless grill on his pimpy machine tools </TD></TR></TABLE>

Same here! Funny stuff....I can see it now....

 

We understand that Cliff doesn't need the money. He's just living his life in a different and more completely personal way than many of us.


I disagree.
I think he's one helluva a business man. Word gets out about such behavior and collectors/restorers sometimes spend months (years?) looking for rare parts. Now, if you've been looking for a part for 8 months and this guy has the only one you can find, you're going to think twice before offering him $20 and watching him smash it before your eyes.

Scott, reminding the former good doctor that the doomsday device is worthless as a deterrent if you don't tell anybody you have it.

 

I read about Cliff in a Cycle magazine a month or two ago. He sold the whole lot to a couple of guys for an undisclosed sum (above $5 million) and they will still be able to make a large profit. Reminds me of the SoupNazi, "No parts for you!!".

Scott, mount the grill on your R, and send the guy a picture.

Victor Penner