What a nice weekend. Time to work on my projects. Time to share with my friends. Time to reflect on the meaning of life. And things that happen or appear to shine a light on the matters at hand or in mind.

Last night we went to the annual TCO banquet, and I had what's sure NOT to be my last teasing about my extreme racing manners last year. You may recall that after a race long battle with Greg Bell, I gave him back the win on the last lap after he'd developed a mechanical problem.

TCO has at it's core a bunch of old racers - very typical competitve guys. Get them all a little drunk and they get even more typical. They love to give each other a bad time. I love it too.

There is ONE honor bestowed at the banquet, perhaps the most widely savored, that nobody really wants to be on the receiving end of: The Courteous Driver Award.

As with many awards in many societies, this ones origins are fuzzy and shady. And the criteria are similarly amorphous. So it's perhaps accurately described as the "you poor dumbshit" or "you stupid bastard" award.

Look at the thing - this cannot be good:



I think that each recipient gets the privilege of making the award the next year. The wisdom of this should be self evident.

Jerry C. gets up and starts talking about it, and I'm kinda half tuning it out because I don't want the honor, and I've heard that I didn't "win". Damn if he doesn't start telling my story then! I'm just about under our table hiding, but I have to get up and go up. <Middle-Finger Jerry!>.

Then he drops the punchline - I'm just getting dishonorable mention as runner up. There's a scrap or two of my pride back - as per TCO policy though not enough to do me any good. I exclaim happily that "there is a bigger dumbshit in the room."

Later as we're all huddled together for our group pic, Fred B. tells me that he thinks what I did was cool - very sportsmanlike in a way you'd associate with the era of Stirling Moss. I thank Fred and tell him that he's one of the few to ever say anything positive about it. I tell him though that it was also selfish - I wanted my win on my terms, and wasn't going to take anything less. We talk for a minute about the prevailing ideology of "winning isn't everything, it's the only thing." We share a rejection of that ideology as the "prime directive".

Earlier in the day I picked up and read the latest issue of Motorsport - the one with the Mini at the Monte on the cover - and found much that related.

Adam Cooper wrote a really nice piece on Jacky Ickx's Grand Prix career. Do you know what I meant by "Spec" Racer in the title of this post? Well, Jackie wasn't a "Spec" Racer. And I don't want to be one either.

Are you a Senna worshipper? Is it because you admire his skill and drive? Do you like the fact that he was a serious student of the history of the sport and held it in high regard - unlike Schumacher who couldn't care less? What about Senna's apparent willingness to kill or be killed - put politely once as a video game mentality with regard to danger and risk?

Do you see that there's a difference between Senna's approach to the sharp end of the stick and Gilles Villeneuve's? I respect and mourn Gilles differently, and frankly more.

Now Jackie Ickx, there's a sportsman. His ups and downs are a story worth reading - GO BUY THIS ISSUE OF MOTORSPORT!

Jackie could have been World Champion in any of four years, but wasn't. He doesn't have any regrets. Runner Up to the dead Jochen Rindt, he's content - "It would not have been correct to beat someone who couldn't defend his chances until the very last race. Jochen really deserved that title - he was the best driver of the year, no doubt".

This reminds me of something I look for in life outside motorsports. Inside a company, turnover either above you or below you is a fact of life. Each new body comes with a story - set on their resume it's always a story of their successes and victories. Over time I've become more interested in their failures and how they've coped with and learned from them. Cooper paints a picture of the very human Jackie Ickx using those tones - and what a guy.

The only question I'm left asking is why didn't he and Forghieri get along? Makes me want to know about Mauro - what was the problem? I've always admired Gordon Murray above all the designers, but Forghieri's career was staggeringly impressive. Maybe a guy like Cooper has or will do us the favor.

Bringing this back on subject a little - winning as the only thing doesn't leave as much room for friendship and comradery. Maybe, MAYBE, there's some justification for this at the very top of the sport - though I think that's confusing the value of something with the price. At the club level I think that Spec Racer Winner is a fucked up mindset to hold. I think this the way Ringo hates drum machines.

Scott, who plans to enjoy 2004 alot, winning or not, it's just racing...I can put my all into it, and I can emerge with all of my all and more even if I don't "win"...and if I do "win", now that's Winning.

 

Lisa, Lisa, you don't respect old people. We need to study and analyze them so that we can see what chemicals can be extracted from them for our use.

 

Senna and Gilles, much to be admired there. Gordon Murray, another ace. Courtesy of a winner? How about Gille's son, Jacques: he let Mika and David through to allow a McLaren win in a race in the year when he won the championship. It seemed a great courtesy, the likes Ron Dennis may never see again. That was a courteous moment.

 

in the end, friendship and comrodory is way beyond the glory of winning. very nice write up.