For a long time now, I have been modifying my car. First it was an intake, header, exhaust, suspension, etc...etc...And from that first day till the end, my dad has been against it 100%...I have totally misread him from the beginning.....::sigh:: I always thought he was against it because he believed "Stock was best" "why modify a brand new car" etc..etc...but i was completely wrong after doing my engine swap i finally found out my dad's true feelings. From day one i have been completely misreading him...it wasn't about the money that i spent, it wasn't about me messing up a brand new car...it was none of that at all...for a two whole years..my dad has been trying to protect me from racing. Protecting me from hurting myself. And now after i did my swap..i don't know what to think.....My dad is very upset at me and wont' talk to me. I feel like **** right now. I feel like a bad son, i feel like i am letting him down. I feel selfish. what should i do? I love this hobby way too much. But he sees this hobby taking my life. I dont' street race, i only race at the strip or autocross...what shoud i do?
Khoi

 

don't drive like a jackass or kill yourself and he'll probably get over it.

 

Honestly you should take him to a AUTOX event or a drag race event with you so he can see you in action.. then he might realize that this is something that makes you truly happy.. I know how you feel.. my dad hates me modifying my car.. but my mom is a old VW racer so she supports me and actually enjoys driving my car. Maybe even have your dad work with you on your car.. good luck Khoi. and if you can just try to talk to him.. but I know some parents as well as gfs and wives just don't understand until they see just how happy you are when you are racing/autox

 

I think you should try and show him that there are safe ways to enjoy your car.

You said you autocross...does your dad know what that's like?

Make it clear that the dragstrip and the track, while still potentially hazardous, are not any worse than driving around on the street (normally...not racing).

 

Khoi

You should trade me for my stock DX. No really, invite the old man along with you on a ride or to the track. Let him get a taste of what its all about and "feel the feeling" you feel that makes you spend all your money on it. If that doesn't work maybe the sight of an import hottie will persuade him that this is more than trying to kill yourself racing.

Jon Black

 

maybe bring him to an event and show him that a controlled racing enviroment insn't like street racing at all, it is quite safe.

Maybe then he will understand why you love racing cars and how you take cuation and use common sense or some junk like that.

If he can't understand then, he's being ignorant.

 

Back when I was young(er), I had the same problem with my dad. Only it was about money, not killing myself. I just looked at him and said, "Dad, I love you. You're my favorite dad and I know I'm your favorite son (inside joke- I'm an only son), but you have to understand- this is my hobby. This is my passion. This is what makes me want to get up in the morning and go to work. At least I'm not laying on my bed on the weekends, listening to heavy metal, eating cookies, and smoking pot, while staring at the ceiling."

He's been nothing but morally supportive since.

 

let him ride passenger at an auto x, i'm sure he'll like any man should like being in a car that is autox'in correctly/safely. good luck man. i know how you feel, but they will understand...and parents love is a parents love....its hard to lose.

 

Errr...uuhhh...is he your only dad?

Hehe sorry couldn't resist
Jon Black

 

I told him that I autocross, and that its really safe, and that all it involves is cones..but he said i dont' care, you can roll and die, there are still hazards. He see's this hobby as a bad hobby. He won't understand me, and its really hard to argue with him because his feelings are really hurt right now and on top of that he is trying to protect me.

Khoi


[Modified by Sohc Driver, 9:59 PM 3/1/2003]

 

Me: "Dad, you can trip and crack your head on the sidewalk and die. Besides, cars won't traction roll unless they're VERY narrow, have stock suspension and are running wide R compound slicks. I don't own an SUV. If rolling was a problem, there wouldn't be thousands of autocross events each year in the US and Canada. How about learning about it rather than spouting uneducated hearsay and speculation?"

And yes, you're goddamn right I'd say exactly that to my dad.

 

just get a cage

 

Some people (parentals) will never get it - I think he'll get over it soon enough unless there is someone that stubborn!

 

do you think maybe your dad had like a life threatening experience when he was younger? Maybe thats why he doesn't want the son he loves to risk his life...I guess you should just have a talk with him and show him how much you really love the hobby and show him that its not taking over your life and that your still a responsible person. Good luck!


[Modified by Si.Hatch.92, 8:07 PM 3/1/2003]

 

i read the story on your website of exactly how you dad found out.
sorry man, and its very cool that you openly apologize on your website and say you love them. You'll think of something. good luck

 

this may sound crazy, but could you get your dad to come to an auto-x event? Maybe take a driving course with him so that he can better understand the sport, preparation, skill, and the precautions taken?

 

though ive been a car enthisiast from the beginning ..as a father i would be concern d about my kids safty first and foremost..*its my job for life*..parents will always have the mentality of *speed kills*..and there s nothing u can do about it..

when i was a teen i had no problem with my parents though..guess they felt that the more time i spent on my car the less time id be on the streets..and when we did race it was fremont drags with my friends...guess my parents also like my friends too since a few of them who race d were also honor students at my HS..

my daughter just got a new eclips GTS and ive offer d to start modding it for her..but she s totally against it..she want s it bone stock..*what are kids coming to*

 

sounds like you have an asian father... if so they will eventually get over it and just leave it be. wait till the right time because my mom is really hard to persuade unless she has some Soju in her

 

Tell him to get over himself. Also tell him that he can watch you do it pissed off or he can watch you do it and enjoy the sport with you. There's a MUCH higher chance of dying in normal driving than there is driving at autocross or the strip. Show him numbers, show him websites and tell him to get the stick out of his ***. There are much more important things to worry yourself to death about.

 

Yes my parents are asian..hehe

I dont' think so..i think he was riding bicycles in Vietnam as a kid....he came over when he was 18 to escape communism in 1979...4 years later i was born...

Khoi

 

sorry to hear this... I went through that with my parents too. ITs hard. I would talk to him and try and work something out. Tell him your goals and intentions. Tell him what you WONT be doing as well...

good luck..

 

sounds like you have my mexican dad...... my dad raised hell and anything else he found down there when i slapped on the intake in my car.... hes a mechanic.... then when i started to do other stuffs like lowering, exaust, and swaping.... like every weekend...... then i would go to the races..... i dont know how he found out.... then he said that he was going to call the popo on me and throw my *** in the bote for illegal racing.... then i took him to the track, and to some illegal races and saw that it was just a bunch of friends drinking beer and having fun.... then he moved out........ now i only see him once every 2 months..... so everything worked out just fine..........
this was like 2 years ago and everytime that i went to the illegal races i never took my car or raced..... we alwayz went in a truck or gangster ride..... i never let my friends participate in illegal street races and you should do the same....... we just went to hang out and party...... ..... ..
but good luck with your dad.... maybe as time passes, he will see the hobby for what it really is...... just dont floss things in his face... like telling him that this makes my car go over 120 mph...... or my friends car does 10's going 150 mph....

 

Dude, just show your pops some love. Take him to an auto-x event, put a helmet on him, and buy him an ice cream cone. Tell him to sit back and enjoy the ride. Be sure to tell him that you don't street race or do drugs. Don't forget to wear pants too dude, or else he'll really think there's something wrong with you or you're on drugs.

 

i have/had the same problem with my dad. my mother supports my hobby but my dad is against me ruining a perfectly good running car along with spending a ton of money. after 4 years of him giving me a hard time about it and me having to hide my hobby (the trend of function over looks had good timing for me) he finally figured out i actually had a huge passion for my car and that it has kept me from drugs and being a waste of space. i work hard to support my desire yet balance that with spending responsibly and saving for other things in my life that i need. hes also recently started to follow me and respect my work...even have me work on my sisters car (show him im learning and doing it all correctly) but in all if you treat and respect him and his ideas and share your true passion for it and how its not your whole life hopefully he will understand and grow to accept it. good luck sorry this was long but i feel for you man. i think about this situation day in and day out.

 

Wow you sound like a great son IMO. I dont think I had much of a father but the one thing we have in common is racing and he encouraged and taught me how to race.

Even street racing was totally ok with him. Now that I am a little older you wont catch me in any 100 mph street races.

Anyways education is always a good thing and you are getting educated on how to drive your car properly.
My driving confidence is way up since I started autoxing I feel (am) in more control of my car when a situation comes up. I stop quicker, no sliding and in general more alert.

Paps will come around, your a great kid and you have a loving father. Good luck.