So my battery was kinda low, the car was cranking slow after it sat for a few months, so I put a trickle charger on. I tried to turn the key after hooking up the charger to see if it would crank more and I just heard a pop and then it did nothing. The lights, horn, hazards, nothing will work. There's power to the under hood fuse box, but not the under hood fuse box or main relay. All the fuses seem to check out. I tried another main relay.

I just finished swapping an F23 in, I had to rewire the alternator but I soldered the connections. Everything else is the same.

I really need help. The landlord is evicting us because I called the city to have the place we're renting inspected. I know, I'm a bad guy, I don't like having water dripping on the bed and in a plastic tote, hearing dripping while I sleep... It was raining for a week straight at a time. And the city isn't doing anything about it. I'm stressing out, I don't know what to do.

 

What do you mean "seem"? They are good or they are not.

Absolutely not relevant.

 

I used a multimeter and checked for voltage and continuity, and they all check out. I say "seem" because aside from fuses, idk what else would be causing this.

 

Check engine light? Fuel pump doesn't prime I'm guessing?

Double check the ignition 1 fuse under the hood. Sometimes when they blow it isn't extremely visible. Use a test light and probe the connections there while you're at it.

 

there was no CEL, no anything. No hazard lights, no headlights, nothing.

I had power at the under hood fuse box, there was only about .5v at the under dash fuse box.

I guess my grounds got loose, I accidentally bumped the battery ground after checking, cleaning, and tightening all the other grounds and saw small sparks. I tightened the battery ground after all that... The car started.

 

Another update.
I was evicted, it was the last day and had to move my car... I put transmission fluid in and then turned the key. The lights were dim and the CEL was slow. The battery tested out at about 12.5v but it had sat for a while. I had clean contacts and have two new ground cables on the car to help ensure the battery is grounded to the motor well.

I didn't have my battery load tester so I removed the battery and got a new one under warranty. Sure enough, the new battery kicked the car over immediately.

 

Broken timing belt?