EDIT(9:40PM): I push started my car and it ran perfect. So I think I'm looking at a short on the alarm now...

So here's my problem. This morning I started up my car, took my sister to school and my car was fine.
Then later on, as I went to go start it, all I heard was a click. ON(I) and ON(II) works fine, fuel pump primes, etc.
The problem happens when I turn the key past ON(II). I hear a click and nothing receives power.
Headlights, instrument panel, fusebox, etc. So I busted out the test light and nothing was lighting up at all.
So then I decided to get my voltmeter and tested the voltage of the battery.
The weird part is that when I went to touch the neg and pos terminals with the meter, my alarm went off and power was restored.
Tested fuses and test light works.
I thought my problem was fixed, so I tried to start it again and the same thing happens.
My best guesses would be either my alarm is bad or the main relay is bad.
Let me know what you guys have in mind.
This is my DD so I need it running asap.

 

ttt.

 

Morning bump. I'm stumped. Thought I fixed my problem last night, but same thing happened this morning. So pi**ed off right now. I can somehow "reset" something by touching the neg and pos battery terminals with the multimeter and if I push start it it will run fine. It's just trying to start it with the ignition where it CLICKS and then I get NO POWER AT ALL.

 

Is the battery any good? You keep saying you touched it with the multimeter but never said what the battery voltage was.

 

Seems good. Reading 12v