OK well my battery died and I bought a brand new one, BUT it worked for about 2 weeks and now i can't start my car unless i jump it because it is an automatic. To add insult to injury, my wheel is locked into place and I cant get it free. What the F^ck do i do?

 

First, I would check if there is a bad ground, then check to see if your alternator is bad. Most likely it's your alternator or theres something that's draining your battery when your car is supposed to be off.

 

Yup, I'd check to see if your Alt is bad.

 

Does your car have a shiftlock release?

When it is locked,
you can't turn the wheels.
Nor can you start the car.

 

i tried the shiftlock release and when i put it back into park, still nothing.