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Your most embarrassing dating story.

 
Old 02-06-2005, 04:11 PM
  #1  
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Default Your most embarrassing dating story.

Well the other day I was in American History class and I started to chuckle about some fucked up **** that happened to me on a date.

Me and this girl are fiddling around and she is straddling me, soon enough she tells me to flex me abs. Well I go to flex those baddies and rip the loudest fart known to man, I just kinda sat there dumbstruck, I believe I started to laugh, and then I apologized.

Anyways, post up your embarrassing dating stories.
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Old 02-06-2005, 04:58 PM
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Default Re: Your most embarrassing dating story. (Vtaaak y0)

lol thats funny ****
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Old 02-06-2005, 05:03 PM
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Default Re: Your most embarrassing dating story. (Vtaaak y0)

how can we even begin to compete with that
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Old 02-06-2005, 06:08 PM
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Default Re: Your most embarrassing dating story. (Vtaaak y0)

hahaha thats good
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Old 02-06-2005, 06:16 PM
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Default Re: Your most embarrassing dating story. (Vtaaak y0)

lol. not bad. i think i did worse.

on my first date when i was 17. i was going out with this cutey 17 year old japanese girl. (she was pretty americanized, i mean she lived here since she was 2).

everything on the date went fine. we went bowling (omg i loved her *** when she started to bowl. lots of fun views there), then we went to watch a movie.. then we ate (lots of talk time). and then we took a walk around this entertainment center..

we held hands while walking... and then we went home..

when i was in the car in her driveway, i was like.. "yep. that was pretty fun"
and she was like.. "yeah. it was"

And I tried to commence my first kiss in my life. lol...

I closed my eyes way too early (before getting close to her)... and i was trying to kiss her cheek.

I felt something weird in my mouth, and continued to move my lips towards her "cheek".

i then kissed her cheek and moved off. I did all of this in like 2 seconds.


It turns out, that I didn't kiss her cheek. I actually caught some of her hair in my mouth, and kissed her neck.

She didn't say a word after that, and opened her door.
I opened mine, and she said, "no it's okay" and got out and went inside.

Yeah that was a good date until that part.
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Old 02-06-2005, 06:19 PM
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Default Re: Your most embarrassing dating story. (Vtaaak y0)

my girl at the time was dropping me off after we went out and before I left her car I gave her the usual kiss. Kissing turns into full blown makeout in her truck, so we're out there for who knows how long and the windows is steamed up one hand on the breast, other in her cooch when all the sudden I notice some lights come up behind us. I hops out the truck and it's her mom in the car. I gave her the frozen/shook wave hello and go into my apartment. Two weeks later we stopped speaking to each other completly.
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Old 02-06-2005, 06:27 PM
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Default Re: Your most embarrassing dating story. (The HamsterBall)

i just remembered one.

alright so i once was watching a movie at my girls house with her and her sister. i was getting really hungry out of nowhere but i didnt say anything.

so im sitting on the couch next to her and her sister. all of a sudden my stomach growls really loud but it sounded like a fart for some reason. like those squeey farts that sound like ur letting it out lightly. i was thinking o man im ******* hungry, but then it comes to me that they might have thought i farted. noone said anything for the rest of the movie. after it ended i said bye and went to wendys for food.
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Old 02-06-2005, 06:32 PM
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Default Re: Your most embarrassing dating story. (Mr. Roboto)

Well one of my first dates with my ex girlfriend of about a year, we ended up goin to a friends house and found a nice little secluded area where we began to talk and really get w/e was gonna happened started. Of course, we began to make out momentarily and about 10 minutes later all went wrong. NEVER CHEW GUM and attempt to mess around with a girl b/c it can result in terrible things. Well i was ontop of her and were making out when my gum slips out of my mouth and right into her hair. I've never seen a girl so scared in my life. Haha girls and their hair are like guys on this message board and their hondas. The gum was stuck pretty good and i think she ended up cuttin it out. That was my first date I thought I completly screwed myself but we ended up continuing a serious relationship for about a year and now where still really close friends. **** just seems worse than it is in some cases
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Old 02-06-2005, 06:34 PM
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Default Re: Your most embarrassing dating story. (MilanoDC4)

This one time, my friend set me up with this really hot chick. We did the movie and a dinner thing, drank soem wine, got pretty tipsy. We went back to my place, and one thing led to another. I took her pants off and I was just like WTF mate!!!! I found a one eyed snake staring at me.
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Old 02-06-2005, 06:35 PM
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thats the worst part...cuddling with sum1 and your stomach grumbling... i always think the other person thinks im farting lol
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Old 02-06-2005, 06:40 PM
  #11  
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Default Re: Your most embarrassing dating story. (i luv my 97 teg)

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by i luv my 97 teg &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">This one time, my friend set me up with this really hot chick. We did the movie and a dinner thing, drank soem wine, got pretty tipsy. We went back to my place, and one thing led to another. I took her pants off and I was just like WTF mate!!!! I found a one eyed snake staring at me. </TD></TR></TABLE>

sounded like the seinfeld episode with the yadda yadda yadda
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Old 02-06-2005, 06:41 PM
  #12  
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Default Re: Your most embarrassing dating story. (Vtaaak y0)

Here goes... called a girl up and met her at a club, everything was Kool and the Gang all night. Had some drinks, cut a rug or two. I'd been out with her a couple of times and finally got the invite back to the house. We're at the house and those last couple shots of Jager start to kick in hard. I was as drunk as they come, we were getting ready to "go to sleep" when it happened... I threw up and got a little on my shirt. She asked if I was staying over still w/ a funny look on her face... I said no and went home... I suck.
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Old 02-06-2005, 07:42 PM
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Default Re: Your most embarrassing dating story. (nub.96ek)

Years ago I went to visit a friend and his wife for the weekend. After I arrived, he told me he set me up on a blind date for the evening( go to dinner, then a movie) I said Ok-whatever, I'm 200 miles from home. My bind date showed up, she was BLIND! True story
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Old 02-06-2005, 08:03 PM
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Default Re: Your most embarrassing dating story. (FatAndFurious)

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by FatAndFurious &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">Years ago I went to visit a friend and his wife for the weekend. After I arrived, he told me he set me up on a blind date for the evening( go to dinner, then a movie) I said Ok-whatever, I'm 200 miles from home. My bind date showed up, she was BLIND! True story</TD></TR></TABLE>

AHAHAHHA!! That's awesome!

man, i'd like to go out with a blind girl one day. I want to see how that is.
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Old 02-06-2005, 08:10 PM
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Default Re: Your most embarrassing dating story. (FatAndFurious)

I locked this chicks keys in her car on our 2nd date
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Old 02-06-2005, 08:21 PM
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Default Re: Your most embarrassing dating story. (Swags04)

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by Swags04 &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">I locked this chicks keys in her car on our 2nd date </TD></TR></TABLE>hahahah for some reason i just laughed out loud. nice one
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Old 02-06-2005, 08:23 PM
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I was on the second date with this girl jen. when i dropped her off at the end of the night, i said "okay, goodnight joanne...." ummm, yah, joanne was her twin sister...hahaha, i didnt even bother going in for the goodnight kiss....
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Old 02-07-2005, 07:10 AM
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Default Re: (mattcalica)

Haha, well one time I was hanging out with a chick and her friends. It was somewhat of a date, and I guess all day I had been making like fat jokes about her and not even knowing it.

I felt like an ******* cause she is just one of those thick hotties.
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Old 02-07-2005, 08:21 AM
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Default Re: (Vtaaak y0)

ive ripped a huge fart in front of a girl as well. I was sitting on a plastic lawn chair so it echoed and amplfied it as well
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Old 02-07-2005, 08:39 AM
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Default Re: Your most embarrassing dating story. (Vtaaak y0)

I was out at dinner with this girl this one time, we were at Olive Garden or something. And I was setting down my drink and of course the glass falls over and soda all over my **** pants and shirt. That was horrible. I felt like such a douche, yeah I never went out/talked with that girl again after that.
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Old 02-07-2005, 08:48 AM
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Default Re: Your most embarrassing dating story. (JDM-EJ1)

My best friend dated a chick from another school and he wanted me to go to the prom with him and his girl. So he finds me this girl that was friends with his girl. We go to the prom together. Somewhere during the night he got really pissed off and was like Pat lets get the **** out of here. So i left without saying goodbye to my date(i was tryin to be nice, after all, it was her prom). then while we are outside he didnt even wanna wait for his girl he wanted to just book. I had to convince him to wait for her. So then on the way back i had my friend drop me off at the house where i parked my car(also the house where all the parents were drunk). So instead of attracting attention to myself, im like hey drop me off on the side of the road and ill walk there. that was a great idea cause there were ****** leaves all over the place along with some dude that were there who was takin his dog out for a ****. i eventually made it to my car but was met by two mothers who were drunk and though i was tryin to steal my car. they realized who i was and wanted to know what happened so i just told them that some girls were being dramatic and thats why i was home. but when i was drivin back to my friends house, i couldnt stop laughing for the life of me.
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Old 02-07-2005, 08:48 AM
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I was shopping for a tux when I bumped into a friend. She was with a couple of her friends and happened to see me. I was stunned because some of those girls looked especially delectable.

I gave her a call to see if that cutie of the bunch wanted to meet up. Sure enough, she did. It was settled, 6:00pm at the local eatery.

I played it cool and sat tight until I get a tap on my shoulder. This behemoth of a creature is now blocking my view of the door. "Hi, aren't you Tina's friend?"

I didn't want to be truthful and rude by telling her she's blocking the view of the door for me. Instead, I tell her yep and that I'm waiting for a friend of hers. She just smiled as if someone defaulted on a lay-a-way payment on a shrimp platter at Costcos.

At that moment it hit me, I recalled an eclipse of the sun while I was talking with my friend. I must have not paid attention to her fat *** blocking the sunlight for humanity while I was chatting it up. I thought I made a date with a hottie, instead I got stuck with Fatti McFat.

I actually had to sit down and watch her swallow barn yard animals whole as I sipped my water with lemon.

Why did I have to endure this pain/misery/life sentence? I haven't used god's name in vain, nor have I eaten any babies recently.

I took the classy way out. I told her I was a hemophiliac and ran my *** to my car and booked.


note* I don't have anything against large people, it's just I thought I made a date with someone else.
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Old 02-07-2005, 09:10 AM
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When I was early on with my first college girlfriend (Psycho Ex Hose Beast), still in the dating phase, I invited her over to hang out with one of my suitemates and I and drink a little bit. Had some Jack and Coke, good times.

Well, something didn't agree with me, so I told her I wasn't feeling all that good (probably looked a little green by this point) and that I'd walk her downstairs.

Elevator got there, and I'm extremely queasy by this point. But I was sure I could tough it out until she left the building. Nope, elevator went up instead of down. I yacked all over the wall

I wasn't trashed or anything, Jack and I just weren't friends that night. She took pity on me and we ended up dating for two and a half years (at which point she went nuts, and we broke up).
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Old 02-07-2005, 09:12 AM
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haha anyone else see the fart machine ads on the page?
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Old 02-07-2005, 09:13 AM
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I was about 18, and was just talking to this girl from work at the time. We weren't dating or anything. We had only known each other for a couple of weeks.

She came over to watch movies one night. She was a year or two older than me, so I was trying to play it cool. I wasn't trying to come of as some horny 18 year old punk(What 18 year old isn't?) or anything. It was kind of a chill out, and get to know each other type of thing. I'm all wondering what to wear so that I don't look like a slob or somebody that is trying to hard. I go with an Adidas outfit.

We sat around and BS'ed for a minute. About 20 minutes later I throw in the movie. She lays next to me. We start the little make out thing. We weren't getting crazy or anything, just a kiss here and there a feel etc.. After the movie ended we sat around BS'ed some more.

It's now time for her to leave. I walk her to the door, and she scoots in to give me a hug good bye. During that time my other head started reminiscing on the nights actions, and BAM! Full salute. She's leaning closer, closer closer. Then she gives me this dazed look, and looks down. I basically just stabbed her in the gut with my little man that the adidas pants had no chance in hell in suppressing. I could feel my face turn flush. Not knowing how to handle the situation, I smiled, and just shut the door.
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