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Violence: Who Taught You?

Old 01-11-2019, 07:40 AM
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Originally Posted by Reborn View Post
In response to the bump question, my sister and I were open hand slapped in the face when warranted. My dad would leave it at that, but as we grew older, my mom would leave it at that with me, but not with my sister. It could get pretty out of hand sometimes. Anyway, when I was about 15 (and sister 17), things were getting out of hand as my sister tried to flee the house. We were in the garage and my mom was pulling her hair and throwing punches (my sister was not fighting back). I had enough and stepped up ready to fight, pushed my mom back, and she flew back half the garage lol. She started to come at me and I think she saw that I was ready to knock her *** out. She thought better of it, and my sister left. It wasn't the last time she fucked with my sister, but she never came at me again, ever. So how should you respond? I think you need to look at it honestly and assess the child's resistance to punishment vs. self-protection.

And going back to the origins of this thread, my sister has a step daughter and does not hit her at all, lol.
Damn it was similar in my home. I never hit my mother back, but she always threatened to shoot me if I did and arrest me if I survived. I left home at 16 because i was afraid one of us would kill the other. Havent seen or spoken to her in years and I don't plan on it either. The only power I have over her is the power to stay away and allow her to be miserable and alone. She'll never meet her grandchildren or anything loke that. But she chose that life for herself.
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Old 01-11-2019, 08:30 AM
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I got legitimately spanked a handful of times growing up. As in lay over the bed, pants down, belt lashings. It was terrible for everyone involved and my parents regret it. It also didn't do crap for discipline, if anything it just made me more pissed off.

If anything I'm thankful it wasn't worse as my stepfather was beat as a child. Like close fisted pummeling type of beatings. As a kid he was often scary as hell as there were a few instances growing up where he almost let loose on me. I got picked up in the air by my throat one time and I've seen him punch through a few doors/walls/etc when raging out on me but he never close fisted me in all of those years.

In high school it got to a breaking point where we were going to go ahead and step outside as I had one of those teenager moments of thinking I was hot sh*t. Thank god it didn't happen as he would have murdered me as he was a fvcking monster physically. He ended up breaking down and telling me about his childhood and about how basically his entire time raising me he had been holding back not becoming his father. It was a big moment and we've been cool as hell ever since.

The sad thing is that outside of those child hood demons he was cool as hell. My stepdad would legitimately play with me like he was a big kid. We'd build forts, play commando, tag team Streets of Rage 2 together, etc. He also had an amazing work ethic and he gave me all sorts of life skills. But the effects of that child hood abuse were always there under the surface so it was like playing with a loaded gun. One day things are great, next day you "forgot" to do your chores and you're pissing yourself wondering what his reaction was going to be lol.

The best discipline came from my grandfather, an extremely kind and compassionate man (yet also a former WWII vet). He disciplined me by showing me a massive amount of respect and trust and would explain to me when I had let him down and that he knew I could do better than that. That was a million times more effective than a belt. This is also how my mom operated 99% of the time.
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Old 01-11-2019, 08:31 AM
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Default Re: Violence: Who Taught You?

My dad passed in 2005 and he was a scary s.o.b. He used to scrap quite a bit when he was younger and I was scared shitless of him. One day, something had happened (don't recall what exactly) but he ended up pushing me in the living room, so my dumb *** pushed him back and that's when I ran out of the house because he started chasing me. We were now in the front yard and I had stopped and we were face to face. He was steaming and there was a house being built next door at the time so people were definitely hearing the words coming out of his mouth.

He was yelling loudly. All I remember is him saying in the meanest voice "What if I hit you? What are you gonna do?"...Oh this day I have no idea why I responded the way I did, but I quietly and calmly told him "I'll hit you back harder". I think that threw him for a loop cause he had no idea how to respond. I think my dad realized that this would have been the case (I would have hit him back) and I've been training in martial arts my whole life, so maybe he thought twice about this fight that could go down. Anyway, no punches were thrown and I miss my dad terribly, but this moment between us really stands out since he's been gone and not even in a bad way, it's just a very vivid memory.
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Old 01-11-2019, 09:46 AM
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"It is better to be violent, if there is violence in our hearts, than to put on the cloak of non-violence to cover impotence." - Gandhi
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Old 01-11-2019, 09:53 AM
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but fr to answer the question:

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Old 01-11-2019, 10:02 AM
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Well..... safe to say yall got it way worse than me holy ****.....
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