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Teaching kids to fight?

 
Old 03-13-2019, 07:38 PM
  #26  
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Default Re: Teaching kids to fight?

no social media
self defense classes
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Old 03-13-2019, 07:40 PM
  #27  
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I've been talking to my kid about that for awhile. We didn't have a problem until this year.
The kid is an *******. It doesn't sound like he's always an ******* though. He puts his hands/feet on other kids too.
I just want my kid to stand up/defend himself. Last week was a first step.

"Have his back" meaning if he gets in trouble for his actions I told him to take then I'll be happy to visit with the teacher/principal/ the other kids parents etc.
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Old 03-13-2019, 07:41 PM
  #28  
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My daughter's favorite game is "fight guys". It's a game, but she is learning some useful stuff. I give her little pointers about making a tight fist, etc. I let her punch/kick me as hard as she can at this point (she's 5). And I let her feel what it's like to knock someone down and 'kill' them. So if she gives me a good thump, I'll go down in a heap.

Sometimes we use household items as weapons (we've been dueling with sticks ever since she could walk), like the cardboard tubes from wrapping paper. The other day she was hitting me with my wife's foam roller and got me good enough to break skin and draw blood.

We do little bouts of sparring for 10-15 minutes every few days. The idea is to get her comfortable with punching, kicking, grappling as a 'fun' game, and to just keep upping the intensity as she gets older and stronger.

My wife got her into some karate classes but they were dumb. I want to just do that stuff with her myself, until she's old enough to really spar with big kids and adults, then find a club that isn't some strip-mall **** where kids get black belts. I figure the worst thing to do is make it a chore, it has to be fun until they are ready (both physically and mentally). My #1 concern is to avoid burnout and injury so that she can develop a healthy interest in martial arts and weapons over time and never feel totally helpless.
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Old 03-14-2019, 03:01 AM
  #29  
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Originally Posted by Tokyosmash! View Post
My stepson (10) is a black belt (1st degree decided) in Taekwondo and a yellow in BJJ, so I guess you all can see where I stand on this.
Sweet. I think if we do that with ours we'll do it as a family because I want to do it too.

Originally Posted by 93Accord117 View Post
No amount of martial arts can train the mind to handle the crass and abusive world of online bullying tho.
Yeah its called dont give them access to social media because its toxic as ****, more so for girls
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Old 03-14-2019, 03:06 AM
  #30  
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Originally Posted by 1 2 NV View Post
My kid is 7 now. He's a pretty timid kid at heart. He's had an ongoing issue with a kid in his class. It appears this kid has a rough home life. We have always taught him be kind to everyone. Treat everyone the same.
With that said just last week my kid got pushed by the other kid. I guess my son told him not to. He did it again. My son pushed him to the ground hard. The kid told the teacher but he's the one that got sent to the principal.
I told my son as long as he's telling me the truth I have his back. I tell him if someone kicks him, kick them twice as hard. I also tell him this won't be the only ******* he meets. I feel I'm preparing him for life.
I asked him how it felt to push that kid down. He got a little smirk on his face and said it felt good. I gave him a high five and told him I was proud of him.
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Old 03-14-2019, 03:53 AM
  #31  
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Originally Posted by The GreenD16 View Post
Great gif use. Great movie.

Awhile back I was visiting an old friend who's kids are 15 and 13. They had just recently bought their kids phones for the first time. They had seen immediate problems from the kids having access to phones.
On one hand as parents they felt bad because their kids didn't have phones until recently. Yet, they were probably doing the right thing by not giving them phones. I should touch base with him to see if anything has changed since then.
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Old 03-14-2019, 05:16 AM
  #32  
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Teach them to fight? No. Teach them to defend themselves? Yes.
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Old 03-14-2019, 06:11 AM
  #33  
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Originally Posted by Tokyosmash! View Post
My stepson (10) is a black belt (1st degree decided) in Taekwondo and a yellow in BJJ, so I guess you all can see where I stand on this.
Hell yes, I 100% intend to do this with mine if he remotely shows any interest.
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Old 03-14-2019, 06:30 AM
  #34  
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I have two boys (8 and 13) and they both started boxing at a young age. When coached properly all combat sports instill discipline. My boys know better than to go picking fights but if someone starts **** with them I don't have a problem with them defending themselves....and yes that means strike back.
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Old 03-14-2019, 06:30 AM
  #35  
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Originally Posted by Ross View Post
My daughter's favorite game is "fight guys". It's a game, but she is learning some useful stuff. I give her little pointers about making a tight fist, etc. I let her punch/kick me as hard as she can at this point (she's 5). And I let her feel what it's like to knock someone down and 'kill' them. So if she gives me a good thump, I'll go down in a heap.

Sometimes we use household items as weapons (we've been dueling with sticks ever since she could walk), like the cardboard tubes from wrapping paper. The other day she was hitting me with my wife's foam roller and got me good enough to break skin and draw blood.

We do little bouts of sparring for 10-15 minutes every few days. The idea is to get her comfortable with punching, kicking, grappling as a 'fun' game, and to just keep upping the intensity as she gets older and stronger.

My wife got her into some karate classes but they were dumb. I want to just do that stuff with her myself, until she's old enough to really spar with big kids and adults, then find a club that isn't some strip-mall **** where kids get black belts. I figure the worst thing to do is make it a chore, it has to be fun until they are ready (both physically and mentally). My #1 concern is to avoid burnout and injury so that she can develop a healthy interest in martial arts and weapons over time and never feel totally helpless.
This thread is now about what Ross's dojo would be called.
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Old 03-14-2019, 06:35 AM
  #36  
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*Imagining Ross wrestling with his teenage daughter INTENSELY between bite work sessions with the family dog*


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Old 03-14-2019, 06:36 AM
  #37  
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Originally Posted by tron_ View Post
This thread is now about what Ross's dojo would be called.
"The sunroom"? Lol

When she's ready, I'll take her here:

https://ska.org
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Old 03-14-2019, 06:38 AM
  #38  
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Originally Posted by usdm420 View Post
*Imagining Ross wrestling with his teenage daughter INTENSELY between bite work sessions with the family dog*


Well the dog is dead as of 12/31 so it would be great if you could retire the jokes about him. I would give my right nut to do some bitework with him right now.
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Old 03-14-2019, 06:39 AM
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Originally Posted by Ross View Post
Well the dog is dead as of 12/31 so it would be great if you could retire the jokes about him. I would give my right nut to do some bitework with him right now.
Sorry man, I didn't have a clue (obviously).
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Old 03-14-2019, 06:40 AM
  #40  
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Not a person, nor a kid knew what will happen in a fight. There will always, always be someone bigger, more psycho, and worse than your kid. Take them to classes to learn self discipline, sure. But if you are expecting them to fight off the kind of people looking for a fight guess again. Those people, those “kids” are going to much bigger because they are not looking for a fair fight. Plenty of them will have psych issues and no regard for their own safety. And the more the victim fights the worse it gets.

Someone else gere mentioned memtal toughness, resilience, etc. that’s whats needed. Teach your kid about others, about compassion, about circumstances that make bullies.


Ive seen quite a few youth on youth fights. Most of time it is someone with a 50% size advantage smashing the hell out of someone else. And if on the off chance the victim starts winning the bullies three friends jump in and it gets worse. This isn’t a movie, and the best you can hope for is it ends quick.
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Old 03-14-2019, 06:56 AM
  #41  
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Originally Posted by Ross View Post
"The sunroom"? Lol

When she's ready, I'll take her here:

https://ska.org
The Ross Dojo for Little Tykes and Rambunctious Tweens

Exercise 1: Get Ross-san all the Gatorade he wants while he does finger pushups until he bleeds out of his eyes.
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Old 03-14-2019, 07:16 AM
  #42  
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Originally Posted by usdm420 View Post
Teach them to fight? No. Teach them to defend themselves? Yes.
100%
they need to know how to avoid fights, but to also know how to talk their way out of things, and as a last resort, they need to know self defense.

my kids will be in this program: https://www.gracieuniversity.com/pag...We1ep5rQ%3d%3d
gracie jiu jitsu bully proof.

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Old 03-14-2019, 07:25 AM
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When my son turned 13 I started training with him in the gym lifting weights. We do it 5 days a week and he loves doing it, he is getting really cut, strong and has a lot of good confidence. I was also an amateur boxer in my younger years and still had some gear but went out and got 18oz boxing gloves, head gear, hand wraps, mouth pieces and other training equipment and also started training him in boxing.

After a year he got pretty dang good and I would spare him a couple times a week full contact and he was getting pretty fast, could take a hit and throw some clean ones himself.

I personally think itís a good idea boy or girl to train them to be strong and be able to defend themselves.
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Old 03-14-2019, 07:27 AM
  #44  
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Originally Posted by ford9n View Post
100%
they need to know how to avoid fights, but to also know how to talk their way out of things, and as a last resort, they need to know self defense.

my kids will be in this program: https://www.gracieuniversity.com/pag...We1ep5rQ%3d%3d
gracie jiu jitsu bully proof.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kD0vwUNsPrI


Baby @ rico will be in Gracie JJ as well.
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Old 03-14-2019, 07:37 AM
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Originally Posted by 020 View Post

Ive seen quite a few youth on youth fights. Most of time it is someone with a 50% size advantage smashing the hell out of someone else. And if on the off chance the victim starts winning the bullies three friends jump in and it gets worse. This isn’t a movie, and the best you can hope for is it ends quick.
"best you can hope of is it ends quick"

This is where the group discussion lead to. No one seem to have a good answer. (BTW, this was a church group.) At one side, some said "ok, in self defense" but we all know defense is offensive. You can block one, you can block two, three, but no one is good enough to block all 10 or 15 punches. If offense is not taken, the "defense" will failed. At some point, a defense is to attack, and attack hard. "Stop" does not work today. It does not work in bullying, does not work for the police, and does not work in traffic situations.

The other point is "I got your back." What does that mean? The other kid's dad got his back too. Again, when it's elevated to this level, we are not dealing with rational people, like parent like child. No one cares about right or wrong. "Your son hit my son, so he was defending himself." "The other dad would say "I don't care, if you **** with us, you deal with me." So do dads get involved, take it to the next level? With weapons? This is real life. Do we then bring in the police? Sell the house and move?

The discussion leader offered a "faith based" response. That sounds great to all in the room, and something we all can take to heart because we have that commonality. I don't know if that works outside of the room, Therefore, that's the backstory of me asking HT this question to get a feel for what HT fathers think.
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Old 03-14-2019, 07:52 AM
  #46  
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Originally Posted by GoLowDrew View Post
"best you can hope of is it ends quick"

This is where the group discussion lead to. No one seem to have a good answer. (BTW, this was a church group.) At one side, some said "ok, in self defense" but we all know defense is offensive. You can block one, you can block two, three, but no one is good enough to block all 10 or 15 punches. If offense is not taken, the "defense" will failed. At some point, a defense is to attack, and attack hard. "Stop" does not work today. It does not work in bullying, does not work for the police, and does not work in traffic situations.

The other point is "I got your back." What does that mean? The other kid's dad got his back too. Again, when it's elevated to this level, we are not dealing with rational people, like parent like child. No one cares about right or wrong. "Your son hit my son, so he was defending himself." "The other dad would say "I don't care, if you **** with us, you deal with me." So do dads get involved, take it to the next level? With weapons? This is real life. Do we then bring in the police? Sell the house and move?

The discussion leader offered a "faith based" response. That sounds great to all in the room, and something we all can take to heart because we have that commonality. I don't know if that works outside of the room, Therefore, that's the backstory of me asking HT this question to get a feel for what HT fathers think.
Kids that are bullying others IME have abuse issues at home. So no doubt the awful parents will jump in. They are not good people, they may assault you. As far as faith based goes, pray for them and their families. Explain to your kids about projection. Itís difficult because there are awful people in the world. You can explain to your kids those situations. Also be aware that zero tolerance means your BJJ trained kid may be expelled and may end up with a criminal record for ďself defenseĒ. Which makes me wonder how many GDD kids are actually the bullies.

My my first reaction to my nephew being bullied is I will just pay for a lawyer, get a restraining order etc. Apparently though schools donít have to abide restraining orders. Tough situations.
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Old 03-14-2019, 07:58 AM
  #47  
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Originally Posted by ford9n View Post
100%
they need to know how to avoid fights, but to also know how to talk their way out of things, and as a last resort, they need to know self defense.

my kids will be in this program: https://www.gracieuniversity.com/pag...We1ep5rQ%3d%3d
gracie jiu jitsu bully proof.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kD0vwUNsPrI
That ďfightĒ has two evenly sized people fighting. Reality is itís going to be a smaller person getting attacked by a large person. Bullies are not looking for fair fights. May weather, a trained fighter, will lose to Kobein a fight. Size is going to be the deciding factor. Again, not saying donít teach your kids those things, just saying donít delude yourself either.
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Old 03-14-2019, 08:07 AM
  #48  
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Originally Posted by 020 View Post

That “fight” has two evenly sized people fighting. Reality is it’s going to be a smaller person getting attacked by a large person. Bullies are not looking for fair fights. May weather, a trained fighter, will lose to Kobein a fight. Size is going to be the deciding factor. Again, not saying don’t teach your kids those things, just saying don’t delude yourself either.
BJJ was basically invented to allow a smaller person to defeat/neutralize a larger person.
the fact that most don't think this is possible is why BJJ works so well.

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Old 03-14-2019, 08:18 AM
  #49  
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Originally Posted by ford9n View Post
BJJ was basically invented to allow a smaller person to defeat/neutralize a larger person.
the fact that most don't think this is possible is why BJJ works so well.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KzXQGMqY8_E
Thatís not a fight though, thatís a comparatively peaceful exhibition. Reality that lady is getting destroyed. Do you have any actual fights where this is happening.

Curious on thoughts of ActiveAero
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Old 03-14-2019, 08:28 AM
  #50  
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I'm not looking for a fight - I'm simply saying the BJJ is all about allowing the smaller person to have a chance against a bigger opponent. that's is why is was invented.
so, I plan to have my kids train BJJ - so they have the tools needed in case they get picked on. BJJ, GJJ specifically teaches kids how to avoid fights, how to walk away, but to also know when that isn't possible. IF walking away isn't possible, the next best thing to do it neutralize the threat without "beating some up" - that is where the chokes and locks come in.
I could post a bunch of videos that show someone with bjj skills, even beginner bjj skills keeping themselves safe, but maybe that's for another thread?
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