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Old Crew, Divorce and your franz

Old 10-12-2018, 04:05 PM
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Default Old Crew, Divorce and your franz

Am I the only one here in their 30's, late 30's, OK almost 40, that is just witnessing their married couple friends' marriages drop like flies, and realizing your friends aren't the people they thought they were?

**** is crazy out in here in married world, man. Wife and I probably kick(ed) it with a steady rotation of about 12 married couples, and were counting it up the other day. There are like 3 couples still married. Everybody else has turned out to be cheating pieces of ****, dishonest, doing sneaky **** with money, and all kinds of other shady **** to end up divorced. Are the rest of you seeing this kind of stuff at this rate, or do I just happen to know a lot of shitty people?

The older I get, the more I realize many people aren't the image of them you have in your head.

Sorry for the feelzy weird question, just found out some **** about one of my best friends that has me all WTF with humanity rn.
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Old 10-12-2018, 04:10 PM
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Default Re: Old Crew, Divorce and your franz

Nah we still acting in my clique

I will say...i saw it a lot when kids were graduating
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Old 10-12-2018, 04:19 PM
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Default Re: Old Crew, Divorce and your franz

J when did your friends/you get married?

my circle started much later. I was the 3rd dude in my circle to get hitched, and that was 2010 at 29 y.o.

So people haven't really been together long enough yet, for the most part.

I count 2-4 divorces total and I'm having to reach for people I haven't talked to in a while.
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Old 10-12-2018, 04:19 PM
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Default Re: Old Crew, Divorce and your franz

How old were these people when they got married?
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Old 10-12-2018, 04:21 PM
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Default Re: Old Crew, Divorce and your franz

Originally Posted by Ross View Post
J when did your friends/you get married?

my circle started much later. I was the 3rd dude in my circle to get hitched, and that was 2010 at 29 y.o.

So people haven't really been together long enough yet, for the most part.

I count 2-4 divorces total and I'm having to reach for people I haven't talked to in a while.
sayin

lotsa people get together with their SO young and then change as an individual. I got with the wife in my late 20s and we are pretty much who we are going to be as far as maturing. So I know what I'm getting into.
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Old 10-12-2018, 04:25 PM
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Default Re: Old Crew, Divorce and your franz

Originally Posted by solsisters View Post
sayin

lotsa people get together with their SO young and then change as an individual. I got with the wife in my late 20s and we are pretty much who we are going to be as far as maturing. So I know what I'm getting into.
It's never too late for one party to change the deal. It's happening at my house and I'm about to be 38.
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Old 10-12-2018, 04:31 PM
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Default Re: Old Crew, Divorce and your franz

Wife and I have been together for 14 years, married 11.5 and we’re only 33 and 32. Been through a ton and we both have changed a lot but have handled it well.

2 other couples we know got married almost as young and they each lasted about 1 year.
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Old 10-12-2018, 04:31 PM
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Originally Posted by Ross View Post
It's never too late for one party to change the deal. It's happening at my house and I'm about to be 38.
oh yeah extremely true. My inlaws got divorced in 2016 after 34 years.

edit:

does anyone else friends with those couples that really need to just not be together but they just will not split?
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Old 10-12-2018, 04:39 PM
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Originally Posted by .Beaver View Post

oh yeah extremely true. My inlaws got divorced in 2016 after 34 years.

edit:

does anyone else friends with those couples that really need to just not be together but they just will not split?
my parents lol
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Old 10-12-2018, 04:40 PM
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Originally Posted by Ross View Post
It's never too late for one party to change the deal. It's happening at my house and I'm about to be 38.
true true
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Old 10-12-2018, 04:47 PM
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Default Re: Old Crew, Divorce and your franz

Srs question, do you bring up the pre-nup BEFORE you propose or AFTER?
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Old 10-12-2018, 04:48 PM
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Default Re: Old Crew, Divorce and your franz

Originally Posted by Ross View Post
It's never too late for one party to change the deal. It's happening at my house and I'm about to be 38.
**** man, what's going on?
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Old 10-12-2018, 04:56 PM
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Only close people in my life got divorced when they were early 20s.

I don't have many white/black married friends so my married friends tend not to get divorced so often.
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Old 10-12-2018, 05:00 PM
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Originally Posted by Tennobanzai View Post
I don't have many white/black married friends....
Iím genuinely curious as to what this is supposed to mean.
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Old 10-12-2018, 05:04 PM
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Originally Posted by .Beaver View Post

I’m genuinely curious as to what this is supposed to mean.
Most of my friends are from Hawaii.

Hawaii has a lot of Asians
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Old 10-12-2018, 05:07 PM
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Originally Posted by Tennobanzai View Post
Most of my friends are from Hawaii.

Hawaii has a lot of Asians
and Asian people donít get divorced?
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Old 10-12-2018, 05:11 PM
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Originally Posted by .Beaver View Post

and Asian people donít get divorced?
Compared to others? A lot less by a huge amount.
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Old 10-12-2018, 05:17 PM
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Default Re: Old Crew, Divorce and your franz

Originally Posted by Ross View Post
It's never too late for one party to change the deal. It's happening at my house and I'm about to be 38.
PM me if you need to talk. Been through it.
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Old 10-12-2018, 05:19 PM
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Originally Posted by The GreenD16 View Post


PM me if you need to talk. Been through it.
****, that sucks to hear too... did you divorce or adjust things and make it work?
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Old 10-12-2018, 05:21 PM
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Originally Posted by oneludesol View Post
**** man, what's going on?
It's funny

I see where she is coming from. But the stuff she says to me is stuff you'd say to a guy who just lays on the couch all day.

"You don't help me with ANYTHING" right after I get home from picking up the kid. Just expectations spiraling out of control.

Her parents are successful business owners and this is how they are with everybody in their lives. No matter what you're doing, they'll find the area where you're falling short and nag/issue ultimatums until you improve...then they find something else. They don't know how to turn off that striver's mentality.

I really don't think she understands that she's lucky to have a husband who comes home every night, doesn't cheat, has no addictions, and is a devoted Dad. Our kid is turning out to be a very stable genius and I'm wondering why she can't put 2 and 2 together.
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Old 10-12-2018, 05:23 PM
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Originally Posted by oneludesol View Post
****, that sucks to hear too... did you divorce or adjust things and make it work?
Divorced. My choice. Side note, turns out my friends didnít like my ex.

Remarried now and 100000x happier now and wish I had met my current wife 15 years ago. Feel like I wasted so much time.

I could write a book.
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Old 10-12-2018, 05:25 PM
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Dinner parties



Divorce celebration dinner parties
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Old 10-12-2018, 05:27 PM
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Originally Posted by The GreenD16 View Post


Divorced. My choice. Side note, turns out my friends didnít like my ex.

Remarried now and 100000x happier now and wish I had met my current wife 15 years ago. Feel like I wasted so much time.

I could write a book.
Did you meet your current wife after the divorce? Or was she someone you already knew?

Just wondering if you had to "get back in the game".

no kids right?
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Old 10-12-2018, 05:35 PM
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Default Re: Old Crew, Divorce and your franz

Originally Posted by Ross View Post
It's funny

I see where she is coming from. But the stuff she says to me is stuff you'd say to a guy who just lays on the couch all day.

"You don't help me with ANYTHING" right after I get home from picking up the kid. Just expectations spiraling out of control.

Her parents are successful business owners and this is how they are with everybody in their lives. No matter what you're doing, they'll find the area where you're falling short and nag/issue ultimatums until you improve...then they find something else. They don't know how to turn off that striver's mentality.

I really don't think she understands that she's lucky to have a husband who comes home every night, doesn't cheat, has no addictions, and is a devoted Dad. Our kid is turning out to be a very stable genius and I'm wondering why she can't put 2 and 2 together.
**** man, I'm sorry to hear that. Have you tried counseling or therapy?

Originally Posted by The GreenD16 View Post


Divorced. My choice. Side note, turns out my friends didnít like my ex.

Remarried now and 100000x happier now and wish I had met my current wife 15 years ago. Feel like I wasted so much time.

I could write a book.
That sucks, but I'm happy to hear you found what you were looking for. I understand the feeling of the wasted time, and I'm not sure of the exact circumstances of the divorce or finding you new love, but hopefully you take solace in the fact that if you hadn't traveled the hard road just as you have, you may have missed this destination.
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Old 10-12-2018, 05:36 PM
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Originally Posted by Ross View Post
Did you meet your current wife after the divorce? Or was she someone you already knew?

Just wondering if you had to "get back in the game".

no kids right?
We met after the divorce on Match. So, yea, I had to get back out there. It was interesting after 10 years. Fun being wanted by a lot of women, but as someone who is shy/nervous around new people, also very difficult.

No kids (one of the issues I was naive about), just my dogs.
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