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Ever want to just run away?

 
Old 08-29-2003, 07:27 AM
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Default Ever want to just run away?

Lately, with the combined problems of finances, relationships, cars, and house, I am almost in the mood to run somewhere and start over.

My girlfriend and I are struggling, as we have been for several months now. She gets defensive, I start talking to some one new, she finds out, thinks im cheating on her, I quit talking to the new person, things are ok, she brings it back up, we fight again, repeat steps 3 times since april.

I am currently so far in debt that I can not see the top. The gumball left me broke for a bit, and problems with my car, and expenses that I should not have incurred have started to take their toll on me. I now live pay check to pay check, just trying to find the surface.

My house. Although a good house, is slowly falling apart. My yard looks like something from a tarzan movie, I can not finish the remodeling project, and my house is way to small for all the stuff I own.

My car is a nightmare just waiting to be completed. But my lack of hands on experience followed with my fear of screwing up, well.. that just leaves me at the mercy of my friends .... which none of them live around here.

My job. It is a good paying job. It is easy, but lately, I have been longing for something different.

My location. I am 27 years old. I have lived in huntsville since I was almost 3 years old. I know this town backwards and forwards. I know every back road, every cop hang out, every speed trap, every boring little nook and cranny. I have been thinking for sometime, that maybe a change in scenery would be good.


this is my rant for the day, and my topic of discussion.
what do you do when things get beyond your control, and everything becomes repadetive. Do you walk away and move?? Start some where fresh, where you dont know any one?? Where you have no enemies or friends. ???

Thoughts ??
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Old 08-29-2003, 07:41 AM
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Default Re: Ever want to just run away? (Lildrgn)

On the relationship part I know exactly where your comming from. My wife always thinks i'm cheating on her, but hey what can you do. At times I feel like everybody is against me. Sometimes I feel like just calling it quits with her, I mean we have a little 3yr. old girl together but what's the use of staying with someone if all you do is argue. I think it's just not worth it at times.
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Old 08-29-2003, 07:49 AM
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Default Re: Ever want to just run away? (UNDER PRESSURE)

Drop the girl. I don't see how you can stay with her when she doesn't trust you at all.

Unless you gave her reason to not trust you, like cheating on her. But then she should have broken up with you.

After you break up with your girl, everything else will fall back into place. You will be back on the market, so you can sleep with anyone you want. You can spend more money on yourself. Life is easier without a bitchy girlfriend.
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Old 08-29-2003, 07:55 AM
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Default Re: Ever want to just run away? (Endz0r)

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by Endz0r &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">Drop the girl. I don't see how you can stay with her when she doesn't trust you at all.

Unless you gave her reason to not trust you, like cheating on her. But then she should have broken up with you.

After you break up with your girl, everything else will fall back into place. You will be back on the market, so you can sleep with anyone you want. You can spend more money on yourself. Life is easier without a bitchy girlfriend.</TD></TR></TABLE>

almost cheated on her. Was in the position to, but something stopped me. I was caught at that point. Clothes were still on, but it was not a good picture.

She came back to me, but that has been our biggest downfall.
I sometimes wonder why I do the things I do. Maybe its because I am just afraid to be alone. Or maybe I am afraid to actually commit and settle.
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Old 08-29-2003, 08:03 AM
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Default Re: Ever want to just run away? (Lildrgn)

c'mon mike...
you've been hanging around todd way too long!

j/k!

but i can understand how you feel.
i've been feeling a pull for something completely different lately. it's caused a few mood swings, but i just keep plugging on...

just smoke a few extra cigs and drink a few extra beers and try to keep on keepin on.
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Old 08-29-2003, 08:04 AM
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Default Re: Ever want to just run away? (Lildrgn)

I feel ya on the non-trusting spouse(significant other). Mine is like that too. Best thing you can do is A. dont cheat B. communicate. C. DONT GIVE UP.
I can also relate to the change of scenery. that might be a good idea. How? It sure makes it hard when money is tight. Maybe just a short vacation.
I am 25 and am still at home. Everyone says it a great way to save money, I just spend it. I need to get out. The house? well, **** at least you have one. I wish I had the level of responsibility you have. It makes you a better person. As for your car, I wish I could help you but I'm in SE Wi. Something you might want to do is go out to a backroad at night and just chill and look at the stars and just relax. Maybe this will help maybe not, Just dont give up.
chad
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Old 08-29-2003, 08:16 AM
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Default Re: Ever want to just run away? (1_bad_EF)

Man, my wife accusses me of cheating on her at least 3 times a week and one of these days it's really going to happen, call me kobe.
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Old 08-29-2003, 08:25 AM
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Default Re: Ever want to just run away? (UNDER PRESSURE)

well man sounds like you have an armful and then some... hopefully it all gets straightened out. my advice for you would be to get your money problems straightened out. i think having that stress, the edgy "living paycheck to paycheck" feeling just makes you that much more tense and that follows through to all areas of your life.
you say your house is too small for all the stuff you have...maybe you should try buying less stuff and maybe even sell some things you dont need to make a bit extra on the side...

hopefully that kind of change will make you see all other things in your life more clearly, and you'll be in a better position to make decisions regarding your relationship, and what you want out of life (afraid of being lonely or need some time to yourself).

to answer your question yeah sometimes it would seem great to run away, but either you'll have to come back or you'll end up in the same mess somewhere else. good luck.
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Old 08-29-2003, 08:51 AM
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Default Re: Ever want to just run away? (UNDER PRESSURE)

I need to run away. I think about it everyday of my life. For a while, the feeling had passed but it's back.
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Old 08-29-2003, 09:54 AM
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Default Re: Ever want to just run away? (Lildrgn)

If you had no ties, an the opportunity to work in another country for a while, would you?

I have been pondering this for almost a year. There is a possible opportunity for me to work as a contractor for up to two years in Korea. The pay is REALLY good, the government pays for your housing, and your food, and your salary is tax free.

The only thing is that I would be leaving everything I know. But I often wonder "would I enjoy the opportunity?"

Thoughts?
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Old 08-29-2003, 10:05 AM
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Default Re: Ever want to just run away? (Lildrgn)

A few years ago, I almost sold everything I had to climb onto the back of the motorcycle I had at the time and go West. I don't know what I would have done when I was out there, but I would have done something.

I came pretty close to doing it, too... sold a bunch of stuff, but by no means everything. Sometimes I still think about it.
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Old 08-29-2003, 10:05 AM
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Default Re: Ever want to just run away? (Lildrgn)

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by Lildrgn &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">If you had no ties, an the opportunity to work in another country for a while, would you?

I have been pondering this for almost a year. There is a possible opportunity for me to work as a contractor for up to two years in Korea. The pay is REALLY good, the government pays for your housing, and your food, and your salary is tax free.

The only thing is that I would be leaving everything I know. But I often wonder "would I enjoy the opportunity?"

Thoughts?</TD></TR></TABLE>

you never know unless you try, and maybe giving up everything you know will be a change for teh better. you are looking for an excuse to just get away...arent you?

it sounds like an incredible oppourtunity, which you should take.

btw, which car did you have in the gumball? was it the prelude?

anyways, this korea thing can get you out of your hole, and maybe give you a new perspective on life.

anyways, although i do not have the life experience you do, i am going thru the same type of dilemma.

i am tired of everything going around in my life, so i am moving in with my cousins in san jose, just to start over, and maybe get a better grasp on life.
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Old 08-29-2003, 10:07 AM
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Default Re: Ever want to just run away? (Lildrgn)

Sell everything. Move to Jamaica and tend bar for 3 seaons. Comeback and we`ll open "Cocktails n Dreams".
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Old 08-29-2003, 10:08 AM
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Running away doesn't solve anything..so no I've never thought about it. Now causing bodily harm to people that annoy me....there is a sollution.
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Old 08-29-2003, 10:13 AM
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Default Re: Ever want to just run away? (vtecvoodoo)

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by vtecvoodoo &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">Sell everything. Move to Jamaica and tend bar for 3 seaons. Comeback and we`ll open "Cocktails n Dreams". </TD></TR></TABLE>

Sweet

Actually I have always wanted to open a resturaunt.
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Old 08-29-2003, 10:16 AM
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Default Re: Ever want to just run away? (Lildrgn)

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by Lildrgn &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">

Sweet

Actually I have always wanted to open a resturaunt.</TD></TR></TABLE>

I think they have like a 90% failure rate

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Old 08-29-2003, 10:19 AM
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Default Re: Ever want to just run away? (vtecvoodoo)

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by vtecvoodoo &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">

I think they have like a 90% failure rate

</TD></TR></TABLE>

But I would call mine "Import Cafe`"

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Old 08-29-2003, 10:20 AM
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Default Re: Ever want to just run away? (Lildrgn)

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by Lildrgn &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">If you had no ties, an the opportunity to work in another country for a while, would you?

I have been pondering this for almost a year. There is a possible opportunity for me to work as a contractor for up to two years in Korea. The pay is REALLY good, the government pays for your housing, and your food, and your salary is tax free.

The only thing is that I would be leaving everything I know. But I often wonder "would I enjoy the opportunity?"

Thoughts?</TD></TR></TABLE>

What nationality are you?
I think it would be fun it you are doing it because you have somewhat of an intrest in Korean things. It would also be nice to get away, but do not let that be your main reason.
There is a program very similar to this for new college grads, something about going to Japan to teach English.
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Old 08-29-2003, 10:23 AM
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Default Re: Ever want to just run away? (Pho Real)

Im American, white

I have an interest in the Asian culture, I would go for the experience but not to run away.
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Old 08-29-2003, 10:26 AM
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Default Re: Ever want to just run away? (Lildrgn)

I don't know if Korea is a hot spot for americans right now, **** I don't know if anywhere is a hot spot for americans.
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Old 08-29-2003, 10:40 AM
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Default Re: Ever want to just run away? (Lildrgn)

I've been thinking about this for quite some time now. The difference is it's necessary for me as I graduate college and begin a career. I've seen so many changes in my life in the past 4 years. I was born and raised in a town of 4,000 people. I spent my whole life in a place that was quiet, comfortable, safe, and what I then thought was boring. Then I started to see that if I didn't get out and see the world I would never leave there. I changed my major in my first semester at C.C. and left behind what my Dad wanted me to do and began persuing what I want to do. I totally changed my surroundings by doing that.

I now live in Grand Rapids, MI which has been a major change for me. G.R. is nothing that big, spectacular, or dangerous in any sense. It's the conservative Christian strong hold of the state. It has been a big change for me though. After two awful roommates I moved into a H.U.D. (Housing and Urban Development) subsidized apartment building. They go by income for rent, so my work study job acts as a loop hole (it counts as federal aide not income) and I pay $25 a month. The cost has been a major help, but I live with every walk of scum and every walk of sadness possible in my building. That was a total flip from where I came from. I think I've grown as a person because of that. If nothing else, I cam empathize what it's like to be in that state, and I regard every one as a human being with the right to happiness. Anyway, that being said I changed the whole track of my life doing that.

Along with that, I've come across some real amazing opportunities. In just my first product design class, I was able to participate in a class that was told to design a piece of furniture for the European contemporary furniture market. I was chosen, and I was given a FREE trip to Italy, along with having my chair displayed in one of the largest international furniture shows. **** man, I never saw that coming. It's still almost hard to soak in the fact that I was able to experience that. Afterward I was able to get an internship with the company that sponsored us in the project. I had about 3 weeks to find a place to live in the suburbs of Detroit. Considering where I came from Detroit is not much higher up in scale from living in Hell to most people back home. Two nights before I was scheduled to start working I lucked out and found a roommate with a duplex 10 minutes from where I worked in Troy, MI.

It was all just a big leap of faith. I found myself enjoying that place much more then Grand Rapids actually. All of that was totally unexpected. It scares the **** out of me sometimes when I don't know what the future is going to hold, but at the same time it's a really exciting feeling. Nobody has sealed my fate. In a way I'm scared and looking forward to really starting my life after graduation. I've got one year left of youth, and maybe that's why the rest of my life is something I actually look forward to.

I hope that for the rest of my life if things get to stale and repeditive that I'll have the courage and the ***** to just turn things upside down and up root. I love the life I had, but I also know that everyone like my father has nothing to look forward to but retirement. I don't want to live like that. I want to be able to change the way my life is headed, and do what it takes to find happiness again.

If you have the chance to go to Korea, DO IT. Dump the girl, sell your car, and GO. Being alone is one of everyone's biggest fears (myself included), but it also gives you a chance to put things in perspective, and find out what you are capable of. Take the time to persue the things that really make you happy if you do go. Take up reading, explore the country around you, exercise, etc. Make other things more important then your debt and your worries. Everybody is just ******* crushed under the thumb of money. We never do what we want to or wish to do because there are $ signs involved. If you have ZERO expenses and your salary isn't taxed you would be nearly FREE man.
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Old 08-29-2003, 10:41 AM
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Default Re: Ever want to just run away? (Pho Real)

I've been stressed out alot lately myself. I'm still searching for employment, I'm in debt and living back home after years of living on my own isn't my idea of living. Actually I'm supposed to be on my way to south beach right now and I'm not, so mix all that together in a blender I'll be alright.
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Old 08-29-2003, 10:46 AM
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Default Re: Ever want to just run away? (Lildrgn)

G/F - Decide if you want to stay with her or not. If you do... some couples counseling may be in order.... I know that counseling feels like failure, but my wife and I have been doing it for awhile now and it's working for us. YMMV, but if you really want it to work out, it can't hurt. If it doesn't work you'll be where you are now, if it does you'll get better. you can't lose.

House, debt, car - IMO this is really one problem. If I were you, I would look at getting rid of the car and getting something that's less of a project for now. That way you can pay off your debt and concentrate on the house instead of your car and your debt. Reduce your stress.

job - I know what you mean, but in this economy can you really afford to change jobs now? Sucks, but there it is...
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Old 08-29-2003, 10:50 AM
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Default Re: Ever want to just run away? (Lildrgn)

Jump in your car, take a deep breath, put on Christopher Cross`s "Saling" and take a nice drive (if your car works. If not, I dunno).

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Old 08-29-2003, 10:53 AM
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Default Re: Ever want to just run away? (vtecvoodoo)

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by vtecvoodoo &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">Jump in your car, take a deep breath, put on Christopher Cross`s "Saling" and take a nice drive (if your car works. If not, I dunno).

</TD></TR></TABLE>

Well I have an MR2 and a Truck to choose from... The prelude is still not running, but I plan to fix that problem before september comes to a close.
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