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Awkward Encounters

 
Old 05-24-2014, 12:32 AM
  #1  
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Default Awkward Encounters

So was reading through the memorial thread. Saw someone mention the best sex ever thread from years ago. Well i have one that i thought i would share.

It's 2008. I'm 20 years old. I'm leaving the Iron Bowl game (alabama vs auburn) with several of my friends after my team (alabama) just trounced auburn 36-0. I think it goes without saying, i'm pretty happy about this. We had tailgated for a couple hours before hand and i had my fair share of libations. I end up walking down Bryant Drive a couple blocks and we come to Martha Parham hall... Home to 200 something female students. We notice a large group of people partying and what not and decide to go inside and check it out, they have a little bar set up so i buy a couple rum n cokes and I end up talking to this 6 foot tall/thin/tan Jessica from Melbourne Aus for what feels like forever.. She is very cute and her accent is just ****** adorable so the whole time were talking, in my mind i'm thinking about how the night is going to go and i'm going to end up having a pretty sensual evening with this cutie. Boy was i wrong.

Were both pretty sloshed and she eventually asks me to come check out her room. After a couple awkward minutes of me looking at her room and checking out pics from back home we lock eyes and hop in the bed. There is the usual making out and heavy petting before the clothes come off. Shes on top when she suddenly flips into a 69 position and starts blowing me. Needless to say i'm thrilled about this... but i shoudln't have been. anyways being the gentleman i am, i return the favor and perform cunnilingus.

She is pretty damn talented to say the very least and i'm getting close to blowing a load when i hear her stomach gurgle.. Keep in mind i still have my face buried in her ****** and it would seem rather rude to stop over such a thing.. Well Hindsight 20/20 and all that.

Just a moment later she lets a massive fart rip that literally blows my sweat drenched hair backwards.. the very instant the gas has stopped escaping from the butthole i have been staring at since she started passing gas, and i sneeze all up in her vag.. like an uncontrollably violent sneeze that sent her bucking forward and deep-throating my member.. and not half a second after that she bites down on my ****. Not so much as to draw blood, but i did have teeth marks hours later. This all happened in the matter of 5 seconds or so.

She springs up and turns around and starts crying and saying how embarrassed and sorry she was and she couldn't believe this was happening and how it was the first time she had done anything other than just regular old intercourse... and all i could do.. Is laugh my *** off.. the whole time she is apologizing.. my drunk *** can't help my picture myself having an out of body experience and watching it all go down and it was literally just the funniest thing i had every seen in my life up to that point. My dick was a little sore but the story was experience was worth it.

Well to wrap the story up, we didn't end up doing the deed that evening. But became pretty good friends until she moved back to Australia in 2009. Everytime i hear the name jessica now, i think about myself lying on my back staring up at that butthole as it dilates and constricts and the feeling of a warm rush of air on my forehead.

To this day i am thankful that it was just a fart.. and nothing far more diabolical.
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Old 05-24-2014, 01:16 AM
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Default Re: Awkward Encounters

There is something Tucker Max-ish about this, so you're alright with me.
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Old 05-24-2014, 02:47 AM
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Default Re: Awkward Encounters

Few years back while 69ing my then GF i felt a fart building up so I asked her if she'd give me a rim job. So I move my *** close to her face, her nose was right by my butthole when I let out a huge loud *** fart. I felt so diabolical.
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Old 05-25-2014, 03:42 AM
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Default Re: Awkward Encounters

Hahaha. Yeah.. i would have rather been on the giving end than the receiving.

GDD needs to live a little if me and White are the only ones with awkward/embarrassing stories to share.
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Old 05-25-2014, 04:04 AM
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Default Re: Awkward Encounters

That is awesome.
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Old 05-25-2014, 04:41 AM
  #6  
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Default Re: Awkward Encounters

What you experienced was the rare "Australian tail wind tickle"
Normally only reserved for the most elite lovers

The first time a chick did this to me it was 1989 and my boat was docked at Perth for two weeks while being repaired. She was a local dancer named ginger
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Old 05-25-2014, 04:54 AM
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Default Re: Awkward Encounters

Did I read this correctly? ...the clothes come off...suddenly she flips me...and blows a load..into my butthole...

You sure this was Jessica and not kiwi?
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Old 05-25-2014, 05:11 AM
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Default Re: Awkward Encounters

Have you ever been to Nogales OP? This thread reminds me of someone else....

Aussie girls are very open minded, so that should not discourage you.


Originally Posted by cetcivic View Post
Did I read this correctly? ...the clothes come off...suddenly she flips me...and blows a load..into my butthole...

You sure this was Jessica and not kiwi?
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Old 05-25-2014, 05:59 AM
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Default Re: Awkward Encounters

My younger brother told me a story once about how his GF was giving him head and he accidentally farted. He said she just moaned in displeasure but never stopped. So I just said, "Damn, that's a keeper"
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Old 05-25-2014, 07:55 AM
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Default Re: Awkward Encounters

Originally Posted by cetcivic View Post
Did I read this correctly? ...the clothes come off...suddenly she flips me...and blows a load..into my butthole...

You sure this was Jessica and not kiwi?
I think you read what you wanted to read lol.
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