Archidictus's "A Gift of AIDS" - 1998 Oldsmobile Intrigue
A Gift of AIDS
Owned by Archidictus
1998 Oldsmobile Intrigue Furburger Edition
Rated 1.0 by 1 visitor
Last updated: 08-31-2009, 12:33 PM
User's Posts: 13032
Typical General Motors shitbox with an interior made out of sorrow and tan pleather. Soft surfaces were once comfortable but now serve only to dull the stabbing of metal understructures. The exterior is boring, if handsomely proportionate, and remains generally white despite my greatest efforts to avoid cleaning any of the insects and/or road scum from the front valence and hood.
The rear three spark plugs have never been changed because I don't give a shit and they're really difficult to reach. The car, as a result, accelerates like a molasses landslide in the Winter and occasionally makes a sound like the death rattle of an emphysemic nintey-five year old when cruising on the highway for hours at a time.
In spite of its sporty suspension, it handles like a sausage on a unicycle and, honestly, I almost weep for the safety of my family when I gently depress the brakes on the highway, as the shuddering surrender I feel below my foot bespeaks a future wrapped in metal and the remains of my infant son, flung from his Eddie Bauer carseat and into my coccyx.
I change the oil when I feel like it, which is infrequently. Other than that, I'm running the eco-friendly "spark plug mod" which involves never changing the rear bank because they piss me off.
I once looked in the wheel wells of the car and saw only a stack of rocks with an "IOU" scribbled on them wedged where a coil spring should be. I decided not to ask questions.
It actually has aftermarket rims because the stock pieces of shit were chrome plated and leaked air in a cycle that made me feel like Sisyphus.
Pioneer CD player. The stock sound system isn't bad at all. It handles death and black metal rather well, all things considered.
Honda and the Honda marquee are registered trademarks of the American Honda Motor Company, Inc. Neither American Honda Motor Company nor its subsidiaries or affiliates shall bear any responsibility for Honda-Tech.com content, comments, or advertising. Honda-Tech.com is not affiliated with American Honda Motor Company in any way. American Honda Motor Company does not sponsor, support, or endorse Honda-Tech.com in any way.
Copyright/trademark/sales mark infringements are not intended or implied.
