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raccoon been eating my fish and fruits. plz help!!!

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Old 03-02-2009, 10:06 AM   #1
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Default raccoon been eating my fish and fruits. plz help!!!

Good'day GGD

I'm having problems with my koi pond and fruit trees in my back yard. The last few days i've lost 3 kois and bunch of oranges and tangerines.

Well, i found the suspect last night because i came home late and i saw a fuking raccoon standing inside my koi pond with fish on his/her hand and about to maul my fish. I rushed quickly to get my machete but the raccoon doesnt seem to be scare. It started to hizzle at me and chase me around my yard.

The raccoon is about 3.5ft tall and it been stealing my kois, oranges and tangerines. I put nets over the pond but doesnt seem to work, he/she just ripped the net apart and eat my fish.

Plz help met catch this *****, any suggestions will help. !!! I am putting up a bear trap as we speak but i dont think it will work because the raccoon is fuking smart.

Heres a pic of the koi pond, the pond is about 2.5ft deep.

In before shes cheating on u, hes cheating on u, phdts. ect....





please dont flame!!! i just want some help from the great GDD'ers
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Old 03-02-2009, 10:09 AM   #2
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Default Re: raccoon been eating my fish and fruits. plz help!!!

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It started to hizzle at me and chase me around my yard
Am I the only person who found this funny?
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Old 03-02-2009, 10:09 AM   #3
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Default Re: raccoon been eating my fish and fruits. plz help!!!

WTF chasing you around, and you had a machete, lame, cut that *********as head off!
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Old 03-02-2009, 10:10 AM   #4
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Default Re: raccoon been eating my fish and fruits. plz help!!!

See if animal control will help. If they won't, get your own trap. Bait it, catch the bastard, release in the next town over.
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Old 03-02-2009, 10:11 AM   #5
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Default Re: raccoon been eating my fish and fruits. plz help!!!

raccoon's are fu*kin mean man. i wouldn't mess with one until i had a 12ga , not just a machete.

OP, get a rotweilier, or poison it?
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Old 03-02-2009, 10:12 AM   #6
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Default Re: raccoon been eating my fish and fruits. plz help!!!

lol tommy. that's hilarious. i had to kill a possum a few years back because it tried to **** with my sharpei. the possum was half dead and just chillin in her mouth, so i decided to just put it out of it's misery by wacking it really hard in the head and it died.

try to google how to trap a raccoon or something like that.

p.s. raccoons are crazy bitches. you don't want to **** with them unless you have something really long so that it can't bite you. rabies would SUCK.
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Old 03-02-2009, 10:14 AM   #7
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Default Re: raccoon been eating my fish and fruits. plz help!!!

bb gun /
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Old 03-02-2009, 10:14 AM   #8
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Default Re: raccoon been eating my fish and fruits. plz help!!!

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WTF chasing you around, and you had a machete, lame, cut that *********as head off!
U have no idea how big this raccoon is, its soo fat and tall. After i got the machete in my hand it started chasing me around my yard, I've been told raccoon in the city carries lot of aids hiv diseases ect.. so when i thought of that i was scare and decide not to get close to that ******. If i had a long stick in my hand that would be a different story!!
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Old 03-02-2009, 10:15 AM   #9
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Default Re: raccoon been eating my fish and fruits. plz help!!!

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U have no idea how big this raccoon is, its soo fat and tall. After i got the machete in my hand it started chasing me around my yard, I've been told raccoon in the city carries lot of aids hiv diseases ect.. so when i thought of that i was scare and decide not to get close to that ******. If i had a long stick in my hand that would be a different story!!


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Old 03-02-2009, 10:15 AM   #10
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Default Re: raccoon been eating my fish and fruits. plz help!!!

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Originally Posted by eg9beast View Post
U have no idea how big this raccoon is, its soo fat and tall. After i got the machete in my hand it started chasing me around my yard, I've been told raccoon in the city carries lot of aids hiv diseases ect.. so when i thought of that i was scare and decide not to get close to that ******. If i had a long stick in my hand that would be a different story!!
they don't have aids or hiv lol. just most likely rabies.
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Old 03-02-2009, 10:17 AM   #11
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Default Re: raccoon been eating my fish and fruits. plz help!!!

custom mount some lasers on the kois head.
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Old 03-02-2009, 10:18 AM   #12
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Default Re: raccoon been eating my fish and fruits. plz help!!!

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bb gun /
would that work? i tried killing a big *** crow with a bb gun and failed, it looked it just shook it off the shot and flew away, a 22 would do the trick.
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Old 03-02-2009, 10:18 AM   #13
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Default Re: raccoon been eating my fish and fruits. plz help!!!

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lol tommy. that's hilarious. i had to kill a possum a few years back because it tried to **** with my sharpei. the possum was half dead and just chillin in her mouth, so i decided to just put it out of it's misery by wacking it really hard in the head and it died.

try to google how to trap a raccoon or something like that.

p.s. raccoons are crazy bitches. you don't want to **** with them unless you have something really long so that it can't bite you. rabies would SUCK.

For real ??? damn good thing i didnt touch that ******. Im going to set up some bear traps around the pond and get me a bbgun or something, i cant let the ****** eat my kois and fruit for free. :angry:
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Old 03-02-2009, 10:20 AM   #14
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Default Re: raccoon been eating my fish and fruits. plz help!!!

mark your territory and pee around there, they will never come back
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Old 03-02-2009, 10:21 AM   #15
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Default Re: raccoon been eating my fish and fruits. plz help!!!

lol i am sorry but i cracked up when you said it chased your around ahhahaha
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Old 03-02-2009, 10:21 AM   #16
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Default Re: raccoon been eating my fish and fruits. plz help!!!

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For real ??? damn good thing i didnt touch that ******. Im going to set up some bear traps around the pond and get me a bbgun or something, i cant let the ****** eat my kois and fruit for free. :angry:
bb gun won't do ****, but if you try to shoot it with a .22 or bigger, your neighbors might complain.

bear trap + food would work. peanut butter would work really well.
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Old 03-02-2009, 10:22 AM   #17
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Default Re: raccoon been eating my fish and fruits. plz help!!!

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would that work? i tried killing a big *** crow with a bb gun and failed, it looked it just shook it off the shot and flew away, a 22 would do the trick.

Killing it might get you in trouble for animal abuse etc. but if you shoot it without killing it and scare it bad enough hopefully it'll never come back
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Old 03-02-2009, 10:22 AM   #18
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Default Re: raccoon been eating my fish and fruits. plz help!!!

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would that work? i tried killing a big *** crow with a bb gun and failed, it looked it just shook it off the shot and flew away, a 22 would do the trick.
22 or even 17hmr. 30-06 if you're bored and want to freak out your neighbors.
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Old 03-02-2009, 10:24 AM   #19
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Old 03-02-2009, 10:25 AM   #20
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Default Re: raccoon been eating my fish and fruits. plz help!!!

Raccoons can be scared away by flashing a light on them or making a loud noise. Trying to approach or trap them can be dangerous.
Raccoon diseases -
Rabies
Raccoons are classified as a rabies vector species, along with foxes, skunks, and bats.
Roundworm
Baylisascaris procyonis in raccoons is well-documented, and the parasite is a public health concern. The parasite is transmitted through the ingestion of eggs passed in feces. These can be ingested or inhaled.
Leptospirosis
Raccoons are capable of carrying and transmitting this disease.
Distemper
This disease is similar to rabies and can also affect some pets. However, it does not pose a threat to humans. Contact your veterinarian to discuss any concerns, and make sure that your pets are vaccinated annually against this and other diseases.
Be sure your state/county does not have a law prohibiting you from killing the animal. Some states, like NJ, have laws that protect rodents from in-humane capture/treatment/death. Check with your state's ASPCA first before attempting the method above. Otherwise, you will be fined and/or jailed for doing so.
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Old 03-02-2009, 10:27 AM   #21
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Default Re: raccoon been eating my fish and fruits. plz help!!!

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Killing it might get you in trouble for animal abuse etc. but if you shoot it without killing it and scare it bad enough hopefully it'll never come back
or maybe it will comeback with friends!
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Old 03-02-2009, 10:29 AM   #22
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Default Re: raccoon been eating my fish and fruits. plz help!!!

Dress up as a furrie and chase it away:

The raccoon's natural predators include cougars, bobcats, coyotes, foxes, wolves, great horned owls, and fishers.



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Old 03-02-2009, 10:30 AM   #23
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Default Re: raccoon been eating my fish and fruits. plz help!!!

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Good'day GGD
Well, i found the suspect last night because i came home late and i saw a fuking raccoon standing inside my koi pond with fish on his/her hand and about to maul my fish. I rushed quickly to get my machete but the raccoon doesnt seem to be scare. It started to hizzle at me and chase me around my yard.
ROFLMFAO!

Here's what you do.. go to walmart go to the sporting goods/hunting department and pick you up a co2 powered pistol (bb/pellet gun)

Post up in the yard or watch thru the window.. wait for said raccoon that scared the **** out of you to return.. walk outside and open fire on his ***

as already stated.. makes sure it's not illegal to kill the animal though.

p.s. i would not get close enough for that thing to bite you

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Old 03-02-2009, 10:31 AM   #24
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or maybe it will comeback with friends!
F that, I would seriously buy/make the most inhumane contraption and make that thing pay
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Old 03-02-2009, 10:33 AM   #25
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Default Re: raccoon been eating my fish and fruits. plz help!!!

Step 1.) Get a vial of red fox urine and sprinkle liberally around your Koi pond.

Step 2.) hollow out a log, drill a hole in it big enough for the raccoon to get its hand in, put some shiny **** in the log, seal both ends and wait for the 'coon to grab it. They're so greedy/stupid about shiny objects that they won't unball their fists and, thus, won't be able to get out. Stab the mother****er in the facial region with a pitchfork until it's dead.

Step 3.) ****ing chop it's head off and stop being a *****.
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